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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27402028">Constant Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyBlueThunderhead/pseuds/SkyBlueThunderhead'>SkyBlueThunderhead</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Muggle, M/M, Memory Loss, Pining, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:14:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>45,272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27402028</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyBlueThunderhead/pseuds/SkyBlueThunderhead</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an AU, set in muggle future. </p><p>Twenty years ago Harry Potter had lost his memories to an illness. Now he's in a hospital, cured, meeting a stranger who gives his life new meaning.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Severus Snape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The first chapter is all about exposition, but please don't skip it, as you may feel lost in the text if you do. And if it bores you, I promise it gets better when Snape enters the picture (at least I hope it does.) </p><p>Many thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/anti_ela/pseuds/anti_ela">anti_ela</a> for her help as a beta. Thank you for kind for words, Pallas, they meant a lot to me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry woke up from a nightmare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the dream he forgot something important. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Someone important. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was walking around aimlessly, looking for that person, but he couldn’t remember their name or how they looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated these dreams.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Going through his morning ablutions, he smiled cockily at the mirror, the way he had seen Hans Lancefort do. Hans Lancefort was the main character of the TV series he watched, about a detective in 1940’s, solving murder cases. He sat at his hospital bed, waiting for the morning rounds, when the doctors would come into his room and ask him questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They usually asked his name and date of birth, then the hospital’s name – St. Mungo’s, then, of course, the current date. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had lived in the hospital for six months now, but no procedures were done on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was only observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Naturally, more often than not, he was a little bored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least the summer has just ended. The 5</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span> floor, where his room was, did not host patients that needed heavy air conditioning, so the temperature on this floor all this summer was alarmingly high. Harry took two showers a day, sometimes three, to keep fresh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He unfolded his screen and started his morning with watching Mysteries with Hans. He loved everything about the show. The crime at the height of war, the desperate people and poor rations, the fashion and old London. Not that he had seen the way it looked now. But most of all he liked Hans, a tall brunette man with sharp eyes and sarcastic wit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of the day was spent doing nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He. Was. Bored. Out. Of. His. Mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the evening approached he made a call from his screen. He called Hermione, his friend, a nurse at the hospital who sat at the nurse's station right in front of his room. Today wasn’t her shift though and she was probably at home, playing her VR games. Pansy occupied the nurse's station today and Harry didn’t like Pansy. She was snobby and took bribes from the patients to skip a line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His call went through. A friendly face with bushy brows and voluminous hair came to the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hi, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Hermione!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was glad he had his screen. “What have you been doing on your day off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Playing some games, cooking my dinner, currently,” she tilted the screen to show him a chopped carrot. Hermione was, thankfully, Harry’s age.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been watching Mysteries with Hans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you were,” chuckled his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That predictable, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked about Hermione’s progress in Death Eaters, her favorite game. She promised she would make him play someday. Harry looked out the window when the call was finished. The outside world seemed so inhospitable, if he were to judge it by the news. Storms, floods, droughts, crop failure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His door had a small glass window and he noticed Pansy wasn’t sitting at the nurse’s station. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t allowed to leave his rooms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sneaked out, looking around himself curiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brightly lit corridor was empty with one exception. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Avery was tinkering with the chip programmer. The hospital’s orthopedic department, where all the patients from Harry’s group lived, has just begun migrating to the system that opened all the closed doors through chip scanning. Of course only the caretaker's rooms, the room with the medication, the laboratory rooms were and the rooms of patients from their trial were closed. The chips were registered in the database, monitoring when each nurse and doctor entered and exited any room in the hospital, not just the locked doors. The key cards were becoming a thing of the past, at least for the hospital staff. Harry knew from Hermione that in case of emergency the fire alarm station would cut the electricity to all the locked doors, leaving them open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rooms of the people from his group were all opened via key card. They were all a closed study. An experiment, of sorts. They weren’t allowed to wander the hospital, lest they get into trouble. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stole Pansy’s key card the first day they moved him here. She had to get a new one and Harry was free to travel in and out of his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry watched Dr. Avery for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t look like the man knew what he was doing, he was poking the thing ceaselessly, and he eventually gave up pushing the buttons and took the equipment in his hands and dropped it to the floor. It landed with a dull thud. Harry’s eyes went wide. What was the man doing? He surely broke the thing! The man grabbed the thing off the floor and put it in its place. He pushed the button, but the machine had no reaction. Satisfied, he turned and Harry ducked swiftly into his room. When he was out again, Dr. Avery was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What a strange scene, Harry thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry continued through the corridor to a little hallway, between two wings. It had plants and a row of vending machines. Harry went up to the one he liked most, which contained only one brand of juice in different flavors. G8, the most expensive juice in the world. Fancy juice, as his friend Ron called it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry knew from the documentaries he watched that the global temperature rise of lead to the world being ravaged by floods, storms and droughts. And drop in the world's Produce production. Fancy juice, which started as 100% organic brand, gradually dropped the label. Now it was only 50% organic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry spent all of his netcoins on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a couple of juice cartons and returned to his room. There he patiently scratched off the special area on the side to reveal a code. He entered the code into his screen for juice’s database lottery. He has been buying the brand since the lottery was announced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In 24 months, a very special comet would pass the Earth. It was a giant, bigger than Halley’s comet, 14 km wide and 21 km long. They called it Phoenix, and it was expected to make quite a show. A spacecraft, Firebolt, was going to travel a little beyond our moon, right to Phoenix. Only ten people besides the crew would go, and one place was the lottery’s prize.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The winner would go to space and watch Phoenix in all its glory!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione thought he was a bit obsessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only his guardian, Remus, knew what he spent his netcoins on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the Center (the place he was in before the hospital) Harry had learned about probability. He knew that the more Fancy Juice he bought, the more chances he would win the lottery. He had also learned Math, English, how to brush his teeth, how to shower, how to tell time, and how every kind gesture needed a thank you to accompany it, for Harry had Riddle’s disease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thing that stole his life away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It first surfaced half a century ago, afflicting both the young and the old. Riddle’s disease degenerated neurotransmitters in the brain responsible for memory function, causing the patient to gradually lose his memory and ability to form new memories. The patients became apathetic, reduced to basic bodily functions, forcing their relatives to place them in Care Facilities.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry read that it cost 30 billion netcoins to the taxpayers annually. Thankfully, it was rare, with only a half percent of the population affected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry finished entering the codes. Outside his door he heard Pansy swearing loudly. He looked out of the little window in the door and saw that she had her back to him and she was clearly distracted. He quickly slipped out, hunched, so that nobody would notice. People knew he had a way to move about the place, of course. But neither nurses, nor caretakers told his Doctors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy was complaining loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, I’m telling you the chip programmer worked just this morning! Somebody broke it. One of these useless kids coming with patients probably did it. Tell Dr. Avery I’m not going to be held responsible, if you morons just left it in the corridor, where anybody could have a go at it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry remembered he saw Dr. Avery dropping the sleek shiny steel machine on the floor. Harry never liked the man. He had these milky, pale grey eyes, like zombies. Dr. Avery was one of four Doctors who monitored him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had other Doctors of course. Dr. McGonagall, Dr. Flitwick and Dr. Sinistra.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slipped into the staircase; he generally avoided elevators where doctors and visitors travelled, because they liked to ask questions about what kind of patient he was. And Harry was a terrible liar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t too happy about going about in his blue pajamas. He had a pair in gray and one striped red and green. They were all very worn out and faded, especially the red and green one. He knew they belonged to him even before he started to remember and tell them apart. He caught his reflection in a window to the 4</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span> floor. His face appeared, with little wrinkles in the corner of his green eyes and around his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew from Remus he was forty-seven years old. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had spent his last twenty years in the Care Facility. Twenty years lost to Riddle’s disease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His temples had already begun to gray, betraying his age.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah. Neonatal unit. Ron worked here. Ron was was about the same age as Harry and they got along almost immediately, when he first wandered into this floor. Harry found his friend in the nursery among the weak and sick newborn children.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Ron!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A red headed nurse turned and waved at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, mate. Wandering along the hospital again?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on my break. Trying to spread some positive energy to them,” he said, pointing at the little ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had first seen a baby, here, in this nursery. At least, the first time he remembers. He was horrified by how tiny and frail they looked. Lying nestled in their blankets, tiny feet, tiny hands, bleary eyes. Ron had offered to give him the infants to feed and to hold, but he always refused. He was too afraid to do something wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron had none of that anxiety.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clearly loved his job, spending his lunch time here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna eat today?” Harry looked closely at one of the infants. It had lovely dark skin and brown eyes. He smiled at the baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve drunk my lunch and took my vitamins; I’m free to do as I wish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Money’s tight?” Ron sometimes used powder as a lunch. When mixed with water to form a thick drink that didn’t taste like anything, it provided all the nutrients of an ordinary meal. It had the added benefit of being very cheap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gave my mum the rest of my paycheck. They’re fixing the bathroom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have some Fancy Juice? If you have the package I’d love to have it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, that juice is too expensive. I hope you’re not planning to search for the empty packets in the bins, Harry. You know, half the globe are playing this lottery, you’ve got no chance to win.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned. He loathed when Ron or Hermione reminded him of his slim chances to win.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The more codes I have…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know. But none of the nurses drink Fancy Juice, the vending machines are here for visitors and doctors,” said Ron with contempt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true, Hermione drinks G8.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The VR game girl you’ve told me about? Born with a silver spoon in her mouth I bet,” his friend dismissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry leaned into one of the cribs and made a face at the baby, but the infant showed no reaction. He was still a little annoyed at Ron for insisting he had no chance to win. Going to see Phoenix was his biggest dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, since he found out he had no one but Remus, that is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> somewhat of a VR game addict. She had all the latest tech gear for it, too. Harry had never asked where she got the netcoins for it, but she never had to drink white powder for lunch, like Ron. She also went to vacation recently, to a place with white beach sand and turquoise water. She showed him the pictures.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had personally never tried VR, in the long list of things he had never tried, at least not since he started to remember himself again. He wore glasses, but they were regular glasses, not Augmented Reality glasses. He sighed. He had never tried a great deal of things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked for a while, and Harry said goodbye to Ron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hospitals weren’t fun. They were full of people in pain and worried relatives. Nobody paid him any attention, even though he wore his pajamas instead of the hospital gown. It was getting dark</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>he had to hurry before the nurse’s checkup. He reached the Orthopedic department and bought himself another Fancy Juice from the vending machine. He stopped before the large window, overlooking the hospital parking lot. He was lost in thought, looking at the moon, remembering the first time he saw it and was lucid enough to remember having stared at it the night before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the Center (the place before) they had bars on the windows. He was surprised when he first saw a window without the sturdy metal protection, he did not know such things existed. The Center was where they treated him for Riddle’s disease with Kedmonium. The new revolutionary drug, something they delivered at the center in special locked suitcases.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For six months, he has been at the hospital and off the Kedmonium. The miracle drug helped him repair the mechanism in his brain that made new memories, but it couldn’t do anything about what he already forgot. Harry didn’t remember anything from the life before, not even his name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, he was pulled from his memories by a voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A deep smoky voice, that painted a deep velvet night with gleaming stars before his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The voice was clearly annoyed with something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something fluttered in Harry’s stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How funny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He registered the new sensation, it was as if he was nervous and pleased at the same time. He turned, his smile shy. He followed the sound of the voice like he was pulled by the siren. He could already make out the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it too much to ask for some competence around this place? I’ve specifically instructed the Doctor to give me enough painkillers to dull the pain completely. I can’t work, I can’t concentrate, I’m two weeks behind my correspondence, Ms. Parkinson. Two,” the owner of the magical voice said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stepped around the corner and the nurse’s station came into view. So did the man, standing behind the counter. He was a tall, bony with silver hair that reached past his shoulders. His face was streaked with lines; he was clearly older than Harry. The most prominent feature about the stranger, however, was his big nose, hooked at the end. The thin face was currently scowling, black eyes angry. The man was leaning on two crutches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his heart gave a lurch, like it stumbled, losing its tune. He was puzzled by this reaction. He placed his palm on his breast bone and listened. It beat rapidly, but was no longer acting strangely. An unpleasant fear of losing his memory resurfaced, he pushed it away, repeating his name and date of birth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go get the Doctor,” said Pansy, hurrying down the corridor, thankfully getting further away from Harry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carefully, Harry approached the man. The man seemed even taller up close, emanating an air of danger and intimidation. But Harry wasn’t scared by it, he was intrigued. Something pulled him towards the dark man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” Harry said softly, attracting the stranger’s attention. “My name is Harry Potter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s eyes went wide and his face drained of color. He stumbled on his crutches, his face contorted in pain, as he lost his balance. Harry jumped to help the man, steadying hands helping him with the crutches. The man looked completely bewildered, staring at him, as if he had three heads.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Potter?” he rasped in that deep smoky voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes. I live in that room,” Harry pointed at his room. “But the reason why I’m here is top secret. I might have to kill you if I tell you,” he winked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man seemed to regain his composure. He straightened his spine, which made him look funny, leaning on his crutches. His eyes travelled up and down Harry’s body and, probably finding nothing interesting in his blue pajamas, settled on Harry’s face. His eyes bored into Harry, as if trying to burn through him. There was a heat in his gaze, something alive behind dark irises. Harry waited for the man to introduce himself, but he simply stared down his nose at Harry, stretching the silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Snape!” a voice from behind him called.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. McGonagall was approaching with Pansy trailing behind her. Crap! Harry wasn’t supposed to be walking around the corridor. He wasn’t supposed to be out at all! He overcame the small distance to his room with a jump and slammed the door behind him, leaving the stranger on the other side. Mr. Snape, was it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even going to sleep that night, he couldn’t quite forget the heat of the man’s dark eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wondered if he’d ever meet the man again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Probably not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But maybe, something hopeful in him said, maybe he would.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And, finally, Snape!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Harry was first released from the Center, Remus brought him books on construction, specifically cosmetic and structural renovation. How to get repairs done, how to fix the house, what color schemes to use. Remus told him that’s what he has been doing before he got sick. Problem was, Harry didn’t remember anything from that time. He found the books incredibly dull. So unlike the TV series he enjoyed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he watched the first episode of Mysteries with Hans, he was immediately hooked. He knew that was what he wanted to do. Solve mysteries and catch criminals. Not renovation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every day he learned something new about the world, he was excited to try everything out. But from what he gathered, you needed funds to do literally anything. He had a card, provided by his guardian, the card he used to get Fancy Juice from the vending machine and have a subscription to a media service, the card he used to wire his screen as a phone, in case he ever needed it. But every time he asked Remus about the money in his account, Remus would get very evasive, leaving him with no answers. Harry asked the man if he had enough netcoins to buy a house, when he was released. Remus hinted that he could, or so Harry thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, trust me, you don’t need to worry about the money,” was his catchphrase. He used it a lot. Harry was getting pretty annoyed with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But even as he watched Mysteries with Hans the next day, the tall stranger with the magical voice didn’t leave his mind. He searched for a word that would describe his emotional state meeting the man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Excited? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was, a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inspired? Not really. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elated. Yes, he was elated. He felt like something important had happened. But what were the chances he’d meet the stranger again?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As it happens, when he left the room the next day to talk to Hermione, the stranger was right there. Mr. Snape was standing right outside of his door, as if he was waiting for Harry. Today, the stranger's gray hair was gathered in a ponytail at the nape of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” Harry greeted softly. He was embarrassed by how much pleasure he heard in his voice. He was glad to see the man again, that was all. “Here for the painkillers again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” the man cut off. He eyed his room curiously, turning an expectant gaze to Harry, like he was standing on Harry’s front porch and Harry was rude not to invite him in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry hesitated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to come in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man nodded curtly and Harry returned to his room, accompanied by Mr. Snape. The room was an average size for the hospital, about the same size the room in the Center had been. Currently it was occupied with dozens and dozens of cartons of Fancy Juice. Harry bought quite a bit more than he could drink, even sharing with Ron and Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hoarding tendencies,” Mr. Snape muttered under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No!” Harry’s ears reddened. “I buy them for a lottery, the winner gets to go to space to see the Phoenix comet, when it arrives near Earth. Have you heard of it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was getting tired of short answers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I also like the drink too, although I don’t know how true they are to the taste of real fruit.” Harry shrugged. It couldn’t be comfortable to stand up and chat with crutches. The man must be hurting. “Anyway, do you want to sit or…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man raised his brow. “It’s fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mr. Snape’s eyes travelled up and down Harry’s pajamas. He wore the red and green one today. Snape himself was dressed in black shirt and trousers, the same ones he wore the day before. Or maybe he had more than one pair of the same outfit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you…?” Harry gestured at the crutches. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This close he could see the man had a fascinating face, full of character, it was perhaps a little unkind, but for some reason it didn’t put Harry off. His brows arched elegantly above his eyes, full and dark, streaked with gray. His lips were thin and he wore a bitter expression, but his eyes – they are so full of inner fire, of life. Looking at the lined face twisted something inside of Harry, some inner hurt, an ache he had never known before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There was an accident, and I’ve shattered my right hip.” Harry’s eyes travelled to the man’s right leg. Snape’s expression softened. “What are you planning to do with the juice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll give it to my friends and the caretaker. Maybe you should really sit…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I’m wanted elsewhere.” Mr. Snape abruptly turned and tried to open the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here, let me,” Harry opened the door for the man and he left, casting a last pained look Harry’s way. His painkillers must not be working, Harry decided, so much inner torment was in that quick glance. Harry didn’t quite know what to make of the brief meeting. The man’s hip will need more attention; he’ll need to go to the hospital for therapy. No doubt their paths will cross again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it was in Harry’s stomach again. That feeling. Elation and something like anticipation--no, the wrong word, something like </span>
  <em>
    <span>hope</span>
  </em>
  <span> perhaps. Harry had known hope and had known it to be false, bringing him pain in the end. He concluded that he did not learn that lesson, because he welcomed the feeling again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He continued out of his room, as he planned, meeting Ron on the fourth floor and chatting him up. He told his friend to come to his room at the end of his shift to take some cartons of Fancy Juice. It was getting a bit cluttered. Ron promised he would come. The doctors weren’t exactly happy there was a big pile of Fancy Juice cartons on the floor of Harry’s room. Dr. Avery insisted it was a fire hazard. Harry had always found him suspicious; more than that, he had not forgotten the scene of the man breaking the chip programmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron visited him in the evening, as he promised. Hermione was taking a break, sitting on Harry’s bed chatting him up. In all the months he’d been there, he had never gotten the chance to introduce his friends to each other. There wasn’t a proper moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m taking all the apple juice,” waved Ron as a form of greeting. He noticed the woman in the room and hesitated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” Harry waved at the mountain of cartons. “Ron, I want you to meet my friend, Hermione.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pleasure to meet you, Ronald.” His bushy-haired friend shook hands with Ron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron appeared to be a little flustered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve heard nothing but good things about you from Harry and other nurses,” said Hermione, peering at him curiously. “What do you think about the new safety code issued this morning?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… the new safety code?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t read through it?” Hermione’s voice sounded disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm… well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled at his friend encouragingly. Ron’s old flame, Lavender, had left him for a bodybuilder. He hadn’t dated anyone new for the last five years, intending to always remain a bachelor, because no woman could appreciate the ‘true depth of his soul’. Harry thought Ron was afraid of being hurt again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione, on the other hand, went for a bookish type like herself, with the exception of dating a sports star Viktor Krum. While he was different from her usual type, she confessed they barely talked; in the end, the long distance smothered out any chance they had of making it work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The old ones were silly enough. We have ‘Stop: The babies are not to pass this point’ sign in the Neonatal. I’d understand if they’d come with an explanation from a nurse, but it’s on the floor in big red letters and nobody pays it any attention.” Ron picked the apple G8 from the floor, putting it in his backpack. Harry noticed his cheeks were pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes! I think nothing can replace a real human contact with a clarification. Of course signs and warnings don’t hurt, but they should not be our only defense against the foolish patients,” declared Hermione with a serious face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron’s face relaxed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione's eyes spotted something, in the meantime. “Wait, you have a tear in your backpack. Right here,” she said, pointing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron’s backpack was an old, worn out model. Harry did not know how to sew, so he couldn’t really offer any help, save for money for a new backpack, but he knew Ron would never accept the netcoins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you in any rush? I’ll fix it for you, wait here.” Hermione jumped from the bed and left the room. She returned with a small plastic box, probably containing a sewing kit, Harry thought. Ron emptied his bag for Hermione’s convenience, and she worked the needle through the fabric.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hermione,” Harry said, sounding impressed even to his own ears, “is there anything you can’t do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two pink spots appeared on his friend’s cheek. Harry had never seen anyone sew before, and he watched the needle curiously. When Hermione returned the backpack to Ron, he stared at it in wonder. He fiddled with it, taking it far from his eyes and then staring at it closely. Hermione’s blush returned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t even see it’s been torn,” whispered Ron, his voice full of awe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing, really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron’s heartfelt gratitude was met with a rare, pleased smile from Hermione. Harry beamed at his friends. Both of them separately made his life less lonely and miserable, without them he would be horribly depressed. He wanted them to be at least on friendly terms. Ideally, they would get along so well, they’d become a group of three, instead of two groups of two as it was now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A memory of Mr. Snape – no, just Snape, Harry decided, until he knew the man’s name, popped up in his mind. Could he become Harry’s new friend?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From Remus Harry knew he first showed symptoms of Riddle’s disease when he was only twenty five. His health deteriorated rapidly from there. He has been in a state of limbo, fed, bathed and clothed in a Care Facility for twenty years he didn’t recall. Remus said he still had relatives from his mom’s side, but they were uninterested in his well being. They didn’t visit him once. Only Remus had. And Harry was grateful, even if Remus had this strangely guilty look when he told the story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were eleven of them, back at the Center. Here, in St. Mungo’s, there were only four, the rest in another hospital. Technically, Harry knew their treatment was over. The Kedmonium, the miracle cure, that Harry and the others were injected with, every morning and every evening, had worked. They all regained the ability to retain their memories. Now, they were placed in hospitals to monitor their condition.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except something went wrong here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>St. Mungo’s hosted Luna, Seamus, Harry, and a little boy, Neville, who was in the neighboring room to Harry. They all left the hospital lucid and self-aware. Harry and Neville were doing fine. Seamus’ and Luna’s memories started to fail in the first month. Harry lived with the constant anxiety about forgetting things. He would sometimes forget the Doctor’s name and fall asleep in terror of forgetting his own. He didn’t know if the rest of the six patients had any of these problems, or if it was just Luna and Seamus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry decided to visit Neville the next day. He slipped into his room with his stolen key card, his screen and a couple of cartons of Fancy Juice, when Pansy wasn’t looking. Unlike Harry, who was visited by Remus every month, Neville was visited by his parents every weekend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid sat on his bed, playing games on his screen. Harry waved at him and Neville nodded back. He was a slightly heavier boy with bright eyes and a kind voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your new score?” Harry sat in the bed, side to side to Neville.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s five thousand, progress has been slow.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A two-player round?” Harry loaded the game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re on!” grinned the kid and took a sip from one of the juice cartons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy remembered all of the secret passages in the game, all of the spells and potions. Harry relaxed. Neville didn’t act like someone who had trouble remembering things. He pondered again why Luna and Seamus had begun to forget things; he was confident the Kedmonium worked as it should have. All eleven of them from the Center had perfect memory by the end of their stay there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Harry left Neville’s room, he saw Snape outside Harry’s door, glaring around himself with a large brown bag balanced in one hand. Once again, Harry invited him to his room. The man limped to the chair near the bed and this time sat carefully, wincing as he did so. He leaned his crutches against the window and pulled the bag onto his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been here?” asked Snape smoothly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sat on the bed. “A bit over six months.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” the man said, arching an eyebrow. He was clearly trying to make Harry talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before that I was at the Center for Rehabilitation outside the city. I was treated for my condition there.” Harry played with the hem of his pajama top. “Do you want me to tell you more?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you wish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you want to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man glared at him, pursing his lips. “I recall you telling me the reason you were here was a secret. Is that why you’re reluctant to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled. “It was a joke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “At the Center, the place I was treated in before St. Mungo’s, I was treated for Riddle's disease.” The man raised his eyebrows. “Yes, I know, the disease is incurable, but the Fawkes Laboratory invented this new drug, called Kedmonium. It returned memory to me and ten other patients--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Returned?” cut in the man sharply. He leaned forward in his chair, eyes blazing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, not returned exactly, rather it allowed me regain my ability to memorize things. None of the people I’ve been tested with retained the memory of who they were before.” Snape’s tense face relaxed, Harry thought the air of disappointment left Snape’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s expressive eyes were simply… bewitching.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tried not to stammer, as something in his stomach warmed under that intense gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At the Center I had a separate room, much like here, at the hospital. I’ve had food delivered to me at first, we all had, but after a few months we were allowed to eat together. We were always accompanied by the guards when we traveled the corridors. There were bars on the windows, and we weren’t allowed outside. I was given two shots of Kedmonium in the morning and in the evening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took a deep breath. “I think it was Rehabilitation Center for addicts,” he added, thoughtfully. “Because it felt like a prison.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape eyes softened. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it as if he had thought better of it. Harry didn’t know why he felt so talkative around this man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were busy all day there, unlike here, though. At first we had lessons testing out cognitive function. I remember the doctors there listing numbers, words for us to remember. It was so difficult at first, but we improved rapidly. In the span of a couple of months I could remember more than a half of the numbers they listed and all the words. Then the lessons on English, Math and other useful skills started. It was a bit like going to school, I think, though I don’t remember ever going to one. Going to school in prison, that is. I hated that we couldn’t even leave our rooms when we wanted--the guards were everywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can walk around freely now,” observed the older man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are closed off in our rooms here,” Harry pondered if he should say more. “The reason I go around the hospital is because I have this.” He pulled a key card out of his pocket. “I sort of borrowed it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean you stole it,” Snape deadpanned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Borrowed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hardly.” Snape was smirking deviously now, his dark eyes warm. Harry grinned, pleased by the reaction. “Are you allowed to leave the hospital?” The man shifted on his chair, rubbing his thigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure. Neville, he’s my friend</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>a good kid</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>he’s been treated for Riddle’s disease too, his parents took him home quite a few times. I would love to see the outside world, even a small glimpse, but my guardian, Remus, he’s very busy right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape eyes flashed with anger unexpectedly. “Busy, is he?” he whispered menacingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” said Harry, puzzled by the reaction. “He should visit any day now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s face grew stony. He pulled the bag from his lap and placed it on the bed, then he pulled himself up by the crutches. “Excuse me, I must be going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s stomach sank. Had he done something wrong? “But, the bag?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s for you.” The man walked to the door and pulled on it. As expected, it did not open. Harry jumped from the bed and used the key card. The door flew open and, with a last smoldering look in Harry’s direction, the man left the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, how should I call you?” Harry called after the man. “What’s your name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man stopped, his shoulders tense. Harry saw his head turn, saw the large beak of his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus Snape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The name said by that silky deep voice carried through Harry like a wave. His eyelashes fluttered, the noises of the hallway muted, he blinked to refocus his gaze. He breathed and the man was gone. A moment ago he felt like his leg found its footing on shaky ground, like he glimpsed a light in the darkness, like his fingers traced a familiar object.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyebrows knitted together. Severus Snape. It was an ordinary name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus,” he said out loud. His heart gave a pang and he swallowed it down, returning to his room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened the brown bag and pulled out round objects, neatly wrapped in paper. He opened them up, one by one. He knew what they were by the pictures on his Fancy Juice cartons. Fruits. Severus brought him fruit. But Ron told him only five star restaurants nowadays served fruit, it was that expensive. No place sold them openly because they couldn’t turn in enough profit. Harry remembered suddenly how he told Severus that he didn’t know how true to the taste of real fruit Fancy Juice was. Did the man think he was asking for things in a roundabout way? Harry found his insides squirming from embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a gift. An expensive one. Harry couldn’t accept it this easily, but he couldn’t let them spoil, he didn’t know when the older man would visit him again. What if months passed? What if he never saw the man again? Harry’s anxiety sparked. He recited his name, his birthdate, the year it was now, and the names of his friends. He added the stranger’s name to the list on an impulse, repeating it over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He battled himself for a moment, but then his curiosity won over any other feelings. He sat in the bed, tasting one fruit after the other. He struggled with oranges and got juice all over himself, trying to open it. He then beeped Pansy to get himself some cutlery. He liked the kiwis most and wished there were more of them. Bananas were interesting, but he wasn’t a fan of their texture. He left half of each fruit for Ron and Hermione and wondered why the man he barely knew decided to give him gifts. Perhaps, he thought, he liked Harry. A pleasant warmth spread through Harry’s stomach when he thought about the man. He wasn’t sure why.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He never explained to Hermione why it was important to him to walk freely in the hospital corridors; she probably thought it was boredom. In reality, Harry loathed how trapped he felt at the Center, how powerless the constant monitoring made him feel. The patients were guarded like prized possessions. Or like convicts. Every room had cameras, and he always felt watched. It made his skin itch, and his entire demeanor felt forced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hadn’t told Severus about it, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus was supposed to visit him the next day. In the meantime, he went to the nurse’s station; Hermione’s break was coming up. She was giving directions to an old lady, and Harry waited until she was finished. He offered her to spend her break with Ron and him, and she agreed readily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry already had his lunch, so he only brought juice for his friends and the fruit Severus had gifted him. They sat at the staircase between 4</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span> and 5</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span> floor, with Ron drinking his liquid drink, instead of a proper meal. His eyes widened comically when Harry shared his fruit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Had these when I was little,” he said, savoring the dragon fruit. “You could still buy them at the grocer’s back then.” He reached for another slice, but then hesitated. “Hermione, do you want some?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m rather fond of kiwis myself,” she said, taking a bite of the green fruit. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but stopped herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Harry asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw something strange at yesterday’s nightshift,” she confessed conspiratorially. “It was Dr. Avery. I just left the nurse’s station to go to the ladies room when I remembered I forgot something and returned to my post. I saw Dr. Avery outside Harry’s door</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>he looked like he was just about to open it. In the middle of the night! On a weekend! I just thought it so odd. And… Well, he looked like I caught him doing something inappropriate.” She rubbed two fingers on her forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s eyebrows knitted. Maybe Avery noticed him there that day, watching him as he broke the chip programmer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t told you guys about something,” he started. He told them the odd story and how strange Avery acted, pretending he wasn’t the one who deliberately dropped the sensitive equipment to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione’s eyes were wide; Ron’s face was suspicious. They exchanged a look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think he was trying to hurt Harry, do you?” Ron addressed Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, of course not! But…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he’s up to something,” announced Harry somberly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe Avery planned to kill you over the chip thing,” joked Ron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them chuckled, but that didn’t make the situation any less odd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I blew all of my spending money on a VR game,” sighed Hermione, rubbing two fingers on her forehead. “You know what it’s like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First of all - no, I don’t. Second – it’s only the beginning of September!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Ronald, you speak like someone who’s got no idea what he’s talking about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron blushed. “I really don’t,” he confessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I invite you to my place to try out VR games. Or you could try my Augmented Reality glasses, I have those too.” Hermione placed her hand on Ron’s shoulder. Ron turned even redder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! What about me?” asked Harry. “Am I not invited? I never played these kinds of games either, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione patted him on the knee. He didn’t blush, like Ron had. “I know Harry, but you’re only allowed to leave with your guardian’s permission.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That gave Harry an idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus visited him later in the day, with dark circles under his eyes and his phone constantly ringing. He asked about how Harry has been doing and Harry mentioned to him he met someone interesting. The man didn’t look like he was paying attention to Harry’s words; he looked dead tired. Harry gave him a bag full of Fancy Juice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve made a new friend, I think.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled, his warm eyes shining. “Another nurse?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, a patient.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His guardian’s brows lifted in surprise. He rubbed his face, trying to shake off his tiredness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it at all possible for me to go outside to the city, like Neville does?” Harry played with the hem of his pajamas nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it’s a good idea to go alone. I’ll take you wherever you wish to go, Harry; I understand you must be bored after six month in the hospital. I wish I could have taken you out sooner…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Remus, I know you’re busy. Truthfully, I’d rather go with the friends I made here,” Harry quickly added.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” The surprise was evident in the man’s voice. “Well, then. I’ll notify the hospital staff and sign anything necessary.” Harry jumped from the bed, throwing his fist in the air victoriously. Remus only smiled at him. “You’re an adult, Harry, I do not wish to limit you. You’ve got your card; use it if you need anything. You know you can call me anytime you want. But please remember to behave responsibly</span>
  <span>—</span>
  <span>there’s a lot you don’t know yet about the world around you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful,” Harry said with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night Harry dreamed of forgetting everything again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was someone very, very important to him. At first, Harry knew it was his favorite person in the entire world. He knew their name and what they were to each other. Lovers. He had nothing but utter devotion in his heart for this person, nothing but purest love and respect. Lovers. He knew: he was always welcome in the arms of that special someone. He had a lover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, he forgot that word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew, still, they were important to each other, but he couldn’t remember the person’s name. He walked the rooms he did not recognize, looking for that special someone. In the dream, Harry’s heart began hurting. He was overcome with deep anxiety, walking the empty rooms faster and faster. Searching, trying to chase his own memory, trying to catch the ephemeral feeling. Looking and looking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But for who? He did not remember. He tried to remember the name, but nothing came to him. He tried to remember the path he took from one nondescript room to the other, but he could not. Existential dread pierced his entire being. The bare walls stared indifferently at Harry, who began screaming in horror, lost and abandoned to everything, utterly disconnected and alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry awoke from the nightmare with his heart pounding, his pajamas drenched in sweat. There was a tight pain in his chest and he had to breathe through it, calming himself, reciting his name, his birth date, the year, Ron and Hermione, and the stranger’s name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus Snape, Severus Snape, Severus Snape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The name worked like a charm. Soon, his stiff limbs relaxed and his heart calmed, but he lay there awake, unable to fall asleep again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ventured into the corridor, sneaking past Hermione. He was not in the mood for a friendly conversation. He walked the floor, replaying the details of the dream. Was there someone important to him before he got sick? Was there a… a lover? He didn’t know. He was twenty five when he forgot everything about himself. From what Remus had told him, nobody had visited him in the Care Facility.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry noticed a light coming from one of the store rooms. He paused. The light went out, and Dr. Avery stepped out of the room. He appeared to be in a hurry. Harry went unnoticed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How odd. Today wasn’t the man’s shift as far as he knew. Harry never liked that man. He was sure he was doing something illegal, like stealing medicine or something. Why else would he mess with a chip programmer?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was three days later, when he snuck out after some Fancy Juice, carrying cartons of juice in both of his arms, when he met Snape again. The man was standing right outside his rooms again, leaning on his crutches, like he was waiting for him. Snape’s eyes travelled up and down the length of him stopping on the Fancy Juice. Harry was inexplicably happy to see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surely you must realize playing the lottery is pointless. You’ll never win,” Snape said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron and Hermione knew that he took comments like that poorly; they learned it the hard way. Harry didn’t see a point in arguing, so he simply glared at the man and pushed past him. A moment ago he was happy Snape was there, and now he was angry at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, aren’t you going to invite me to your room?” the man pushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think not,” said Harry tersely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape turned to look at him in astonishment. But that look was quickly replaced by a scowl; although Harry was sure he glimpsed a spark of unease in those depthless eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then I shall fetch a doctor and see what he thinks about you wandering the halls,” the man hissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Harry’s turn to gape. “You wouldn’t dare!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch me, Potter,” he threatened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stomped into the room. Ignoring Snape, he sat on the bed and rubbed his scar absentmindedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know how you got the scar?” Snape asked, following him into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Continuing to ignore the man, he turned on Mysteries with Hans on his screen. He kept his eyes glued to the screen, although his body was aware of where Snape sat on the chair, a dark figure in his peripheral vision. He somehow wasn’t surprised by Snape’s behavior earlier; it was as if he almost expected the man to behave poorly at some point. Which was just confusing, considering he barely knew Snape. He wondered if the man was in pain, still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s rather rude to do that when you have a visitor,” Snape commented calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry projected the image in the air above them, so the man could watch the episode with him. The projected picture was dimmer than when watching on the screen, but it was better than staring at the small device huddled together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost immediately Snape began inserting his little comments, criticizing the love interest, questioning Han’s womanizing ways, the idleness of people in time of war, the overall historical accuracy, and then concluding the episode was written by a group of morons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s lips twitched. He had seen this episode already and wasn’t missing anything essential.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They have male love interests too, you know,” Harry inserted suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do they? Are they as atrociously besotted by that detective as the women?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grinned. “Oh, they are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape’s eyes locked themselves to Harry’s smile, and his posture relaxed somewhat. He rubbed his right thigh and shifted in his seat. Harry noticed with a pang that the man must be in pain. The episode ended, and Harry and Snape were exposed to a five minute advertisement of bottled water, quickly explaining how it was processed from sea water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is not how desalination plants work,” Snape sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you know that because…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I helped design one,” said the older man, a proud look on his features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked about Snape’s work a little bit. His company was called the Half-Blood Prince; it processed ocean water to make it drinkable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the way, Remus gave me permission to leave the hospital with a friend. You’ve seen Hermione, the nurse that sits at the station?” Harry commented.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape’s eyes bore into him. “You’ve made… a friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Hermione and also Ron, he works at the Neonatal unit on the fourth floor. Lots of little babies. Have you ever had one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have I ever had one?” repeated Snape with a puzzled look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, children, do you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Snape snapped, cutting Harry off like he had offered him a plate with slugs. However, Snape rubbed his temple thoughtfully, leaning in closer, his eyes questioning. “Do you… wish to have family?” he asked neutrally, watching Harry carefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little late for that, don’t you think?” Harry laughed carelessly. “I’m forty seven by the way. How old are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two pink spots appeared on Snape’s cheek, his eyes flashing angrily. “Can’t you tell I’m an old man?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can tell you’re older,” Harry said, keeping his tone light. “So, how old?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Twenty years your senior,” Snape said quietly. He rubbed his thigh again, closer to his hip. “You can still have a family if you wish to,” the man added, his voice barely above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t look a day over fifty.” Harry winked, keeping himself from reaching out to touch the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape rolled his eyes at him. “You picked that habit up from the detective, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Harry winked again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s ridiculous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the man left, Harry pondered the now-familiar warmth in his stomach. He remembered the dark stare and the way Snape rolled his eyes at him. Even how the man blackmailed his way into his room made him smile. Harry wished he had a way to contact the man. Snape was clearly looking for a company, if he was conversing with a stranger he met at the hospital. Harry didn’t mind that at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the following week Hermione informed him she wanted to have him over for Christmas, which was four months away. He was a little disappointed, because four month seemed like an eternity. What was worse was that Snape had disappeared. At first Harry told himself he wasn’t waiting for a visit. Then, when two weeks passed and there was no sighting of Snape, Harry was ready to admit, for the first time, that memory came with a downside too. Like thinking constantly about certain people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Watching Hans Lancefort, Harry was reminded of Snape every time another person fell for the detective, which is to say, rather often. He stared at the window, at the cloudy sky and the constant rain that came with the change of season. Perhaps Snape would never show up at the hospital again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re moping,” Hermione patted his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M’not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a rare sunny afternoon, and Hermione was spending her break with him. They joked around and Harry took the Fancy Juice and reenacted a TV commercial for the juice, adding “NOT” at the end of every sentence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fifty percent of the real fruit, get your vitamins today!” he winked. “NOT!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione laughed. “Oh, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry heard a disapproving noise and turned. There was a thin woman with a high, curly updo staring at him. She had a pair of heavy glasses with jewels in them; the lenses glowed with symbols. Augmented Reality glasses, then. Two of her fingers were bandaged. She looked about Severus’s age.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rita Skeeter,” the woman said, holding out her uninjured hand..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook it carefully. “Harry Potter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She licked her finger and stood awfully close to him, grabbing his chin and examining his face. Her eyes stopped briefly by his scar and then glided over his glasses. He disliked her immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What a pretty face,” she tapped him on the nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know how to push her out of his face without being rude. “Excuse me, ma’am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Wonderful, wonderful.” She ignored his unease completely. “Now Harry, what would you say to being a star in a commercial for G8?” she said it as if telling him he won a million netcoins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, I’m not sure…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just imagine the start of your celebrity career, a breakout star in his late thirties.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione snickered. Harry didn’t know if the woman was trying to flatter him, but she did it without any finesse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m forty seven actually,” he clarified.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect! You’ll appeal to our target demographic, the people who are settled in life and want to treat themselves to something truly worthwhile.” She batted his eyelashes at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…” He did not need to star in a commercial; he wasn’t interested in acting or anything else of the sort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll pay you handsomely, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry paused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had an idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is how he found himself in the studio, chaperoned by Hermione. The lights were blinding, the makeup was annoying, and the jumper they gave him was itchy on his skin. He memorized three little skits. At last, they were filming the final one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, Harry, you’re my gem. You’re a natural, sweetheart,” cooed Rita.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tried to ignore her, reciting the lines in his head. Hermione sat in one of the chairs behind the camera. She waved at him, but he didn’t see it because of the blinding lights. He only heard her voice going: “Show them, Harry!” and he smiled gratefully in her direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The screen behind him was truly enormous, bigger than anything Harry had seen. It was currently displaying a sunset. In the script, Harry was a hardworking single bachelor; a man that had been anticipating coming home and opening a packet of G8. Harry played his part, pretending to be tired, then excited, then content. They’ve been shooting for three days. They started at 8 pm and continued all through the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Poor Hermione has been sleeping at work, but she insisted on accompanying him on the shoots. In fact, she drove him to the studio. Harry had seen the city for the first time when they had their first shoot. The flowing lights on the side of the road, the busy traffic, the tall buildings, the people walking the streets, the trees in all shades of yellow, brown and red. He was fascinated by all of it. There was an entire world around him, people with their own lives, life didn’t stop for anyone. Driving to and from the studio was his favorite part of the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, he thought of Snape every day, even while he was busy. Hermione reassured him Snape would show up in the hospital for checkups and therapy, but Harry was losing hope. Remus visited, and Harry confessed he’d been leaving hospital to star in a commercial. Remus was delighted by the news.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite an accomplishment, Harry!” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape had been absent for a little over a month when Harry’s commercial first aired. Ron had told him about it. Harry didn’t watch TV, but Ron’s family apparently did. Harry opened the streaming service for the channel and waited. Sure enough, his commercial appeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry cringed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought he looked awful. And it aired on the Science Channel as well. But he got what he wanted out of it, he supposed. His face looked blemish free with smooth perfect skin, his hair was a fashionable mess – they had given him a haircut right in the studio. The clothes they had given them flattered his figure. He could hardly recognize himself. He hoped he didn’t look that arrogant when he grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rita had given him her card, and he promised he’d contact her when he was ready for his next job. Well, he didn’t get to see as much of the outside as he had hoped, but the experience left him sober about the reality of the world around the hospital. Everyone at the studio was too busy to chat him up, people ran from one task to the other, nobody asked where Rita found him, and the crew only warmed to him after he had read his lines in rehearsal for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t at all like the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stared at the window in his room, at the pouring rain and gusting wind. He was beginning to think Snape had abandoned this hospital altogether and found a new doctor. He knew from Pansy the man was supposed to show up a week ago for therapy. He obviously had not. Although Harry waited outside of his room the whole day, waiting for a glimpse of a familiar figure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and abandoned his cloud gazing, returning to his task. He was currently rather busy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard an impatient knock on his door. He frowned. He never got anyone knocking. Hermione and Ron would just open the door, as would any nurse or a doctor. Maybe someone got confused and thought it was the procedure room. He ignored the knocking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The knocking returned, more insistent this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry went to the door and gasped when he saw who was on the other side of it. It was Snape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only he did not look like himself, he looked awful, with unwashed hair hanging limply from his head, with dark circles and sunken cheekbones, with red rimmed eyes. He looked like he’d lost some weight. His gaze traveled down Harry baby blue pajamas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I losing my mind, Potter, or did you just offer me to ‘taste the best treat I could ever have with real exotic fruit’?” he asked sharply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’ve seen the commercial.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape stared. “I haven’t lost my mind then. I wasn’t sure if…” The man forcibly stopped himself from talking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve missed your appointment. How’s your hip doing?” Harry noticed the man wasn’t using his crutches. Instead, he was leaning on a cane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “It’s fine. I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did not look fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please come in,” urged Harry softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, Snape sat in his usual chair. He left the cane to lean on the window. It was an expensive-looking thing with a delicate silver snake head and two black stones for its eyes. The man looked around the room curiously. It was currently occupied with five times the amount of Fancy Juice than before. Harry refused to feel embarrassed, although he did feel his face heat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you bought every packet of this blasted juice in the building, then?” Snape drawled incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not exactly.” Harry’s fingers played with the hem of his pajama top. He forced himself to stop, putting his hands between his knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What possessed you to agree to star in a TV commercial? You realize your face is going to be on the screens of millions of people?” The man didn’t appear too happy. “I hope they at least paid you enough for the humiliation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry glared at the man. “Hey! I happen to like their product…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape raised an elegant brow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And well, I’ve asked them to pay me with G8,” Harry finished quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please tell me you’re joking,” Snape’s eyes surveyed the pile of Fancy Juice in the room. “This is what they’ve paid you with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, no. I have five storage units full of G8. I’ve just finished entering the last batch of codes for the lottery. Only the packages in this room are left.” Harry fumbled through his words quickly. “You could help me with…” He let his voice taper off, his hands still held tight between his knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape released a tired sigh. “Potter, is this really that important to you? Winning the damn lottery?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry struggled to explain. Ever since he was released from the Center, he had been enamored with the idea of seeing the Earth from space and the comet. Sometimes he had vivid dreams about watching it up close, beautiful and awe-inspiring. He listened to the news, and every day it was the same: poverty, the devastation of climate change, economic turmoil. He wanted to escape it for just a moment, to see something beyond what this world had to offer, something alien. He tried to put it in words, and he watched Snape’s face get more thoughtful as he went on. When he didn’t know what to say next, he blurted, “I like your cane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a gift from a friend,” the man said smoothly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tried to say the next words as casually as he could. “I was wondering if… if you could give me your number or something.” He kept his tone level, but inside he was frozen with panic. Was this too much, too soon? Was he making a fool of himself? Everything he knew told him people exchanged contact information when they liked each other. Hermione exchanged numbers with him after his first week at the hospital, but Ron took a little longer, since Harry didn’t see him as often. Would Snape think him pathetic? Needy? Presumptuous?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure if that’s the best idea,” came the silky response, although Harry saw a light ignite in Snape’s eyes at his question. “I have a number, but it’s for business calls only.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you pick up if I call you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man nodded. He sighed and dictated his number. Harry picked up the man’s cane in his hands, feeling bolder after the number was given, and looked it over. Snape’s eyes were glued to his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape caught Harry’s hands in his own, turning them palms up. “What are those?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry startled. The man’s hands were cool, their skin dry, but soft to the touch. Something hot ignited in his stomach, something dark and heavy he couldn’t name. He looked at Snape’s face, his dark eyes, and was filled with longing. He battled the temptation to do or say something reckless and odd. The question finally reached his head and he looked at their joined hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were scars on Harry’s palms. Small, thin lines, crossing the soft part of the flesh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Silly story. I got them when I was rushing to one of the lessons. I made a wrong turn and tumbled right onto the Christmas tree. The ornaments were all glass. My clothes protected most of me, but my hands, they got full of broken glass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus traced the small white lines on his palm with his fingers. Harry skin tingled where Snape touched him. Harry felt flustered, an odd nervousness in his stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This… I’m…,” falling silent Snape stood up, crossed the room and tried to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Harry had mouthed, rushing to beep the door open, but the man didn’t answer him. In a moment he was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After realising he wouldn’t return, Harry traced his scars himself, but it didn’t feel the same.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry waited one night before calling. He’s seen enough Mysteries with Hans to know you shouldn’t write to someone right away. Otherwise you look desperate. He touched the little phone icon and waited for the projection image, but the man declined the video call. It rerouted to audio only.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello,” Harry said. He was used to seeing Hermione when he called; talking into nothing and expecting an answer was peculiar.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve deigned to call,” came the deep familiar voice. Voice of starry nights.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry lay in his bed, listening to Snape’s voice, grinning from ear to ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He asked, “Are you busy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at the moment.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing right now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Reading a book.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’ve never read one,” Harry confessed. “Remus brought me a couple of books on Reconstruction, but I didn’t like them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you know </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> to read?” came the sarcastic reply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was Severus alright. Harry’s grin was back. “Don’t be daft, I know how to read.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you coping with starting a life from a clean slate? Did you… do remember anything from the life before? Anything at all?” the man inquired carefully.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see.” Once again, Severus sounded disappointed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not like I’ve got anything worthwhile to remember. Remus said I didn’t have anyone close to me, anyway. Nasty shock, that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It still hurt half a year later, still made him feel like he had leapt into darkness and found there was no one there to catch him. “After I was released from the Center I expected… People, I guess. People who know me. But I’ve had no one except Remus who remembered me after twenty years of absence. No one at all waited for me, no one cared.” Harry swallowed the pain of that statement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I find that hard to believe,” Snape challenged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the truth.” Harry wanted to change the subject. “There are so many things I haven’t seen.” He looked at the empty gray silhouette of a person on the screen where Severus’ face should be. “The world seems so big to me. I must sound so silly to you sometimes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What would you like to see?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry thought for a moment. There was a place he wanted to go, the place he needed to see, but he had just met Severus. He didn’t think it would be a good idea to bring it up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like the idea of a theme park or an amusement park,” he said finally, settling on half-truth. He did indeed want to go outside and try one of the attractions, something that could turn upside down or drop from a considerable height.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you four?” Harry could hear the sneer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey! Are you? Don’t think I haven’t noticed you avoiding the EIC!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes. “The Electromagnetic Induction Chamber. You know, the thing with electromagnetic waves that’s supposed to make tissue heal better and faster? Your hip needs it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> avoiding it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you say,” Harry smirked, knowing he was right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They talked for another half an hour until Harry got sleepy and reluctantly ended the call.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They talked every other night from then on. Snape went on about his job, telling him about the boring correspondence he did, and Harry listened attentively. Mostly, he enjoyed the sound of the man’s voice. However, not once did Severus call on his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Five days later, Severus told him, “I’ll be in the hospital tomorrow for the therapy.” Tomorrow was Hermione’s shift, which meant Harry could haunt the corridors without being reprimanded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was wandering the corridor near the nurse’s station when he heard the deep baritone of Snape’s voice. A smile bloomed on his face. Having the man as his friend somehow made him feel like he had a link to the world outside the hospital, like he was… wanted almost. Ron and Hermione were good friends, but talking to them never felt as intimate as listening to Severus’ voice in the dark of his room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He brushed his hair with his fingers, turned, and spotted Severus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Only he was not alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had a beautiful woman with long red hair hooked on his arm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s stomach dropped. He turned away quickly, before Snape noticed him. Well, of course, the man wasn’t alone. Of course. Harry didn’t know why he thought… Why he expected… Just because Severus said he didn’t have any children, didn’t mean he was alone like Harry was. Harry wanted to laugh at his own stupidity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What did it matter anyway? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way his insides felt, like he’d swallowed broken glass and his skin was made of stone, told him it mattered quite a bit. Harry steeled himself to act natural and not let his emotions show. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t get the image of them together out of his mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Harry?” he heard Hermione’s voice. “He’s over there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry had to force his face to relax, as he approached the nurse’s station. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He forced a smile, his face muscles rigid. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why did it feel like his face was made of stone? It felt odd; he’d never faked a smile before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape looked him over, immediately spotting something amiss. This close, Harry could see the woman more clearly. She was stunning, with large brown eyes and full lips. He didn’t know why this knowledge made the air in his lungs grow colder. At the same time, Harry realized there was something familiar in her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?” Snape's face betrayed his concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, nothing is wrong,” said Harry quickly. “Um… you’ve brought a friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, Harry, meet Miss Ginervra Weasley, my manager.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman beamed at him confidently. Harry’s shoulders relaxed by a fraction. Severus said manager, right? Harry didn’t just imagine what he wanted to hear?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The future vice-president, I hope! Call me Ginny, please; nice to meet you, Harry.” She flipped her red hair back. “My brother actually works here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ron! The woman reminded him of Ron. “Weasley! I knew that sounded familiar!” He immediately felt more sympathetic towards her. “You’re Ron sister, then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know Ron? My, what a small world.” She unhooked herself from Snape’s arm to Harry’s immense relief. “I better go visit him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She said her goodbyes and went in the direction of the elevators. Harry stole quick glances at Severus’ attire; the man was dressed in trousers that seemed soft, a black tee, and an expensive-looking coat. Hermione gave them directions to the EIC. Harry wasn’t sure how it worked, but he saw it do miracles for all kinds of nasty damage.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without thinking of what he was doing, Harry reached and touched the fabric of the older man’s trousers. They were as soft as they looked. Severus stopped walking and looked at him, brow raised. Harry stammered an apology and a flimsy excuse, but the man didn’t reply. He turned away and walked on, looking rather pale. Harry trailed after.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they reached the cabinet, a nurse greeted them. When Harry tried to follow Severus through the door, she objected. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is he family?” she asked in a clipped voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some strange emotion twisted Snape’s face. “Yes,” he hissed angrily, taking Harry by the hand (Harry’s heart gave a flutter) and dragging him into the room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse eyed Harry suspiciously, but let them be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The room held a white, narrow bed below a round glass shell, a panel with a screen and many buttons, and three white metal chairs. The nurse moved to the panel and sat. Now Severus wasn’t just pale, he was visibly nervous, and Harry squeezed the hand he was still holding. Severus took off his coat, hung it on a hook on the wall, and leaned his cane against the wall below it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Harry said softly. When Severus looked at him, as Harry squeezed his hand again. “Is something wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not good with small spaces,” Severus muttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I’ll be there every step of the way,” Harry said, leading him to a white bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a loud beep, the glass shell around the bed lifted. The older man sat on it, looking panicked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shoes off,” the nurse said from her post.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape’s hand was still locked with Harry’s. He released it, glaring at Harry’s hand accusingly, as if it was Harry’s fault he needed two hands to remove his shoes. Harry nervously began to finger the hem of his pajama top. The older man finally lay down and shooed Harry away. Once Harry retreated, there was another loud beep, and the glass shell slowly encased Severus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry pointed at the chairs, addressing the nurse. “May I?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse gave a terse nod. Harry dragged a chair as close to the bed as possible. Severus was so pale, Harry had his own moment of panic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you hear me?” he asked loudly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I can hear you. There’s hardly a need to shout.” Severus’ voice was a little muffled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another beep sounded. “Please lay still,” said the nurse over the speaker inside the glass bed. Harry noticed Severus’ hands had begun clawing at white leather padding of the bed. A loud sound, like the engine being started sounded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape closed his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, so you and Ron’s sister, huh,” he said speaking lightly, attempting to distract the man. And he was really curious about Ginny and Snape.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape eyes flew open, he was visibly struggling to stay calm. He started breathing heavily, hands held in white fists, no longer clawing at the padding of the bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry pressed his hand against the glass. “Here, hold my hand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be silly,” mumbled the man..</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry raised his brows.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Severus complied reluctantly, pressing his hand to the other side of the glass. Harry couldn’t feel anything but the glass under his palm, but it was still reassuring to him. Their hands were almost pressed together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m here with you, try to breathe with me,” Harry tried his most serene voice. He took a deep breath and waited until his companion did the same. Then he exhaled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In and out,” he breathed deeply. “In and out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Severus breathed with him, his eyes glued to Harry’s face, and despite his earlier protestations his hand stayed pressed against the glass, right next to Harry’s open palm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why the sudden interest in Miss Weasley? Did she tickle your fancy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Harry’s eyes went wide. “No! I just thought maybe she’s with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We simply had business to discuss on our way here. As far as I know Ms. Weasley doesn’t have a partner, you may pursue her anytime you wish,” scowled the man.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not interested.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah, perhaps Mr. Weasley or Ms. Granger…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry scrunched up his nose. “Yuck,” he said empathetically. “Don’t be gross, they’re my friends.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The EIC left out a noise like the engine being started again and soft hum filled the room. Severus tensed up immediately.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Severus,” Harry said using the man’s name for the first time, trying to catch his attention. “It’s alright, I’m still here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Potter,” barely audible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you have a problem with small spaces?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man bit his lower lip, giving Harry a flash of yellow crooked teeth. He must have realized immediately what he was doing, a look of annoyance crossed his features and he stopped. His eyes traveled from Harry’s face, to their hands pressed against each other through a mirror. A rueful expression settled on Snape’s face, he looked like he would close in on himself anytime, his right hand wavered and he took his hand from the glass.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t,” broke from Harry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape glared at Harry, but put his hand back. Harry licked his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When I was a young boy,” the man started quietly and Harry had to concentrate to hear him. “My father amused himself by shutting me in a broom closet. He installed a lock on the door specifically to keep me inside. When my parents fought, he thought it was prudent to keep me out of the way, by tossing me in the broom closet, to prevent me from protecting my mother from… from…” whatever it was, it produced a pained snarl on Severus’ face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry had a general idea of what Snape’s father might have been doing to his mother. “I understand,” he nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sixty seven,” Snape’s voice rose, filled with self-loathing. “And I still let that drunk influence my life!” his left fist banged on the bed repeatedly. “I should be able to fight it, should be able to forget…” his eyes darted to Harry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s all right. I wouldn’t want to remember my father if he was like yours either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He left nothing of importance to me, but here I am cowering under the glass sarcophagus,” the man spat bitterly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re no coward. You’re here, aren’t you? If it gets unbearable I’ll get you out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape looked amused for a moment. “Do you even know how this thing works?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can always smash the glass,” Harry winked at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a Neanderthal, Potter,” Snape said almost affectionately.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who’s that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The older man chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They talked until EIC stopped humming and the glass lid lifted. Harry helped Snape to sit up. He noticed Snape’s tee was soaked in sweat. He winced internally at the man’s discomfort and swore to himself to be there for Severus’ next appointment. When they left the therapy room, Ron’s sister was waiting for them already. Severus appeared to watch Harry closely for his reactions, but Harry felt nothing but friendly interest for the woman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They parted for the day, but Harry called Severus in the evening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How many therapy sessions do you have?” he asked instead of greeting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Two more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright. Knock on the door, if you won’t find me in the corridor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not necessary for you to escort me to that blasted sarcophagus or sit with me while I’m beamed by the waves,” Severus said, annoyed. “I’m not a child, I don’t need…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I want to,” Harry interrupted. “It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a deep sigh at the end of the other line.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next session fell onto Hermione’s shift. Harry insisted they hold hands through the glass this time too and Severus reluctantly complied. They talked by the phone between their meetings. In one of their conversations Harry made a mistake of asking how Desalination Plant actually worked and he was treated to a lecture, which went on for </span>
  <em>
    <span>two hours</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly, some men and their work!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mostly, Harry asked questions and Snape answered them. He asked about politics, family, science. Severus didn’t appear to mind explaining the little bits here and there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Halloween night came and went. There were no children, except for Neville on the fifth floor and Neville was off with his parents, so Harry spent the night watching a movie on a call with Ron. The hospital had some decoration for the event, mostly the images of flying bats on the walls and windows. Ron told him how they spent Halloween night in his family, when he was young. Harry treated himself to a candy bar in one of the vending machines.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Severus’ third EIC session, however, found them with Pansy keeping vigil from the nurse’s station. Harry knew the time of Severus’s appointment and tried to sneak out. Pansy caught him in the corridor. She looked like a cat that got the cream, stretching her red painted lips in a nasty smile. Harry didn’t know what to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fortunately, Severus came in right at that moment to save him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Miss Parkinson, a word, if you please,” the man said smoothly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They talked quietly between themselves and Snape appeared to give her a number of his assistant. Harry was awfully curious what it was about. In the end Pansy smiled sweetly at Snape and returned to the nurse's station, paying them no attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you say to her?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not important. Miss Parkinson won’t bother you anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the therapy started, Snape’s eyes grew haunted as before. Harry told the man about a nature documentary he’s seen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think deer are my favorite animals. They’re majestic, don’t you think?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Severus looked at their hands, pressed against the glass. Harry got the impression the man was not listening to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Severus,” he called softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man blinked. “Would you like to leave?” he asked suddenly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve told me your guardian permitted you to leave the hospital in the company of your friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want to take me somewhere?” asked Harry surprised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The older man swallowed. “Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where would you like to go?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, lots of places. Maybe…” Harry hesitated. But he couldn’t ask Severus to go with him where he really wanted to go. “An amusement park, for a start?” he finished, swallowing the real answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Snape rolled his eyes at him. “Not an art gallery? Or museum?” he drawled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, we can go there too. After an amusement park,” Harry insisted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you even know about…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m on the internet a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Severus scowled. “We’re going to be the oldest people there. People would stare.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still want to go,” Harry said stubbornly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man stared at him, eyes almost affectionate. “Fine,” he said softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry beamed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Remus visited him later in the day. The visit went as usual, the man still looked tired and worn out and he was still getting calls every five minutes. For some reason Harry didn’t tell him about Severus. Well, Harry wasn’t obliged to tell Remus everything about his life, he reasoned. What he had with Severus was new and special to him, he didn’t even talk to his friends about it. He’d tell Remus later, he told himself.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next morning met him with Hermione who brought him colored pencils and paper. He stared at it unsure, before trying to draw something. Very quickly he discovered he was pretty awful at drawing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione laughed at his stick figures. He decided to give the pencils to Neville.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was pouring rain outside. He sighed heavily at the weather. It’s been raining constantly for weeks now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He left his room and stumbled upon a patient. The pencils fell to the floor and scattered everywhere. Some of them rolled underneath the room, where he knew, medicine was kept. He gathered the pencils off the floor and snuck into the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His key card provided access to the caretaker’s rooms and the rooms where medicine was kept. He reasoned he wasn’t abusing his power, if he intended to only take the pencils. It was dark in the room, but he left the light off. He gathered pencils, roaming his hands on the cold floor. He was just about sure he was finished when he heard someone opening the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He panicked. What if it was a doctor? Quickly, he jumped to his feet and hid behind the shelves, crouching on the floor in the very corner of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bright light flashed, the door closed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were two voices talking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Flitwick and Dr. McGonagall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry could recognize them by their voices, they were Harry’s favorite doctors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you seen Ms. Lovegood, Filius?” McGonagall was speaking. “Her condition is getting worse! While she has troubles with her memory, she still remembers her name. But her motor functions are worse and worse every time I see her. As is her mental functioning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry remembered Luna from the Center. She was quite an odd girl for sure, she used to speak to the plants there, even the plastic ones. Sometimes, Harry had been so lonely, he half understood where she was coming from, but he didn’t seek the company of others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes, Minerva,” there was the sound of cabinets opening and closing. “None of these are symptoms of Riddle’s disease, however.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Precisely!” the woman had exclaimed. “The same is going on with Finnigan, while Longbottom and Potter are absolutely healthy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was listening intently, hoping he would not get discovered. But the doctors weren’t paying attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truly, truly what a mystery. Do you think it’s the side effects of the Kedmonium?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If they are it’s a catastrophe. So far the drug passed the clinical trials with flying colors. Don’t tell Dr. Avery this, but I’ve reached out to the second study group and every single one of them has retained their memory and shows no symptoms found in Ms. Lovegood. Filius, I am very concerned,” there was a sound of glass bottles clattering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ve planned to start trials for Alzheimer's next year, didn’t they? To think Kedmonium could cure Alzheimer's too! If Lovegood’s and Finnigan’s condition gets worse…” Flitwick trailed off grimly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, the world might not see Kedmonium out at all,” McGonagall finished emotionally. It was so unlike her to get so agitated, Harry thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you truly think it’s the new drug causing such severe side effects in some patients?” whispered Flitwick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s either this or foul play, Filius,” McGonagall cut off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By the Gods, who would profit from sabotaging the trial?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have absolutely no clue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Harry did have a clue. Someone who has been behaving strangely, someone who he personally didn’t like and someone who he was sure was up to no good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dr. Avery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s time for dinner Minerva, shall we?” Harry heard the door closing after them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned. Many thoughts buzzed and circled in his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw Dr. Avery break the chip programmer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione saw the man approach Harry’s rooms in the middle of the night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry thought both looked incredibly suspicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What made Harry and Neville so different from Luna and Seamus? Why were they showing no side effects, while the other two were sick? Harry didn’t need to look too far to see the answer. Both Neville’s and his rooms were in front of the nurse's station. Which meant that everybody who walked in there, would be spotted by the nurses!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And wouldn’t chips allow the hospital to monitor which rooms were visited by who, exact hour and date? That must have been why Avery broke the thing! It all started to make sense now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He exited the room and found Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hermione, when will the chip programmer be fixed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They said the necessary repairs would cost like the new thing. Buying new one doesn’t fit in the yearly hospital budget so they’re buying it next year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In three month then,” Harry muttered under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Harry, no earlier than that. Why the sudden interest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shrugged. He sneaked into Neville’s room and gave the kid his papers and pencils.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Avery didn’t want anybody finding out which rooms he visited at the hospital, that meant he was doing something suspicious with patients. And Harry could easily guess which rooms he visited, when he shouldn’t have. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luna’s and Seamus’. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione spotted Avery in the middle of the night, hadn’t she? That too made sense. Avery would be easily spotted during the day, but at night there were less people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Harry had no way to know for sure. No way to be certain Avery visited Luna and Seamus at night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if he organized a stake out like Hans Lancefort did?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had to watch Seamus’ and Luna’s door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luckily, they were next to each other at the other end of the wing. Harry all but ran there. He turned around. The two doors he needed were right next to each other, currently closed. If he made a stake out here, anybody walking the corridor would spot him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bad idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned to the door in front of Luna’s room, on the other side of the corridor. It didn’t look like a patient's room. He tried his key on it. To his immense relief it opened with a soft click. It was dark inside and he flicked the light up to discover the caretaker’s closet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perfect place for a stake out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That first night Harry spent in the caretaker’s room, he hadn’t brought anything along, so he spent his time sitting on the cold floor, staring at darkness. More than once he felt like a complete idiot for blowing his paranoia out of proportion. After all, Kedmonium might have had side effects unknown to him. Luna and Seamus might be getting sick because something in their bodies reacted differently to the revolutionary drug. Yet, something in his gut told him he must continue his endeavor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if he was right and Avery did do something to Luna and Seamus?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gradually, though, his thoughts started to slow and his breathing evened out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly he fell asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He woke up in the morning, lying on the cold floor. He sneaked into his room and promptly fell asleep again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was woken up for the morning rounds. He had risen to eat, but otherwise slept through the day. He decided to call Severus, before he headed out for his next stake out. They had a pleasant conversation and Harry asked him when the man would take him out of the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When it’s not pouring rain anymore, I have no desire to get myself soaked,” replied the man calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed. It was raining again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next night of the stake out he came prepared. He sneaked away past Hermione with his screen and spent the night browsing the internet and listening to the noise. Couple of times he was sure someone stopped at Luna’s door, but the steps would continue down the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning he jerked awake on his hospital bed from the water spraying on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rise and shine sleeping beauty,” came the cheery voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, Ron, I’m sleeping,” Harry closed his eyes again and tugged the thin blanket over his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> you sleeping?” Hermione tugged the blanket off of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the middle of the day,” Ron’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s our lunch break, to be correct,” Hermione’s strict tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go away, you two,” he groaned, rubbing his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to talk, mate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry groaned again and blinked the sleep away. Ron offered him a sandwich.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so urgent?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t in your bed last night past the curfew,” Hermione’s eyes were watching him suspiciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Umm… I was out for a walk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you weren’t. I checked on you all night. You only sneaked into the room in the morning. What’s going on Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed. “Listen, it’s just something I need to take care of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron and Hermione exchanged a look. Just recently they barely knew each other and now they were exchanging looks. Harry tried to make his face less stubborn and grim, but by the looks on his friend’s faces he knew he wasn’t successful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, don’t you trust us?” probed Ron gently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sighed again. “It’s Avery,” Hermione’s eyebrows shot up. “I think he’s responsible for Luna and Seamus getting worse. Luna and Seamus are the other two people in my group,” he addressed Ron. “They both have been getting strange symptoms, partial memory loss of motor functioning and her mental functioning as well.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione opened her mouth to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you’ll say and it’s not a side effect of Kedmonium. I think it’s Avery. I think he broke the chip machine, so nobody would know he visited their rooms, when he shouldn’t have. I hid in the janitor’s closet, waiting to catch him doing it – whatever he does.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, but it’s madness,” cried Hermione. “Dr. Avery might be an unpleasant man, but why would he do something to Luna or Seamus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s trying to sabotage the drug trial.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron whistled, as if impressed. “Mate, you’ve got an entire conspiracy in your head. You’re watching too much of that TV program of yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was getting angry. “See, this is why I didn’t tell you two, I knew you wouldn’t believe me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron and Hermione looked at each other helplessly. Hermione rubbed two fingers on her forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you would have told </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I could have told </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> when Dr. Avery’s nightshifts are, so you wouldn’t be spying on him on the days when he’s not even in hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I didn’t think about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously,” Hermione huffed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When is his next nightshift?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not till Thursday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today was Monday. He could have spent three days waiting for Avery, sitting on a cold concrete floor, if Hermione hadn’t told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great, Hermione,” he beamed, though she looked uneasy at him. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On Tuesday morning something of note happened. It wasn’t raining. He called Severus expecting to be invited out of the hospital and he wasn’t disappointed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On Wednesday he heard a soft knock on the door. He found Snape at the door, dressed in all black, as usual, holding a large bag. There wasn’t any sight of the cane, however. His hip must have been completely healed by now. Harry was so happy to see him he assaulted the man with the hug. The man stiffened under his embrace. Harry held his arms around the bony man for a few moments longer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he released the poor soul, Severus looked rather flustered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come,” said the man in his deep silky voice, tugging him away from the door. Harry loved that voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy was at the nurse's station today and Harry hesitated. He still hid around the corridors when it was her shift. Her red lips stretched into a smile, when Snape addressed her. He announced that he was taking Harry out for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give a call to his guardian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pansy complied. Harry stood in front of a screen and Remus’s face came into view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to leave the hospital, Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I’m here with my friend,” Harry glanced around, but Snape stood away from him, preoccupied with something on his pocket screen. “They wanted to take me out for the day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus smiled softly. “Of course, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The call ended and Harry was about to tell Severus he was ready to go, when he took another look at the man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Really, really looked at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape was dressed in black pants, a sweater and an expensive looking black coat. Harry on the other hand was wearing formless faded pajamas.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, there’s a problem,” he said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Could he go like this? No, people would think he was mad. He went like this to shoot the commercial, but he was going straight to the studio, where they gave him other clothes to wear. He didn’t think he could go around the city looking like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you changed your mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s just… I don’t have any clothes,” Harry confessed miserably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape eyebrows lifted. He gave Harry a bag he was carrying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try these.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked inside. There were smaller paper bags inside and when he opened one it had a maroon jumper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you buy clothes for me?” Harry gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My assistant did. I’m told these are sufficiently modern.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry couldn’t help, but beam. Everything fit like a glove. He had smart looking trousers, a shirt, the red jumper and a coat with pockets for everything. Snape’s assistant even guessed his shoe size right. He was sorry he didn’t have a large mirror he could look at himself in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had ridden the elevator to the first floor. Snape’s car didn’t look that different from Hermione’s car. The car smelled like leather and pine trees, and something distinctly Severus. The man programmed the location into the panel and the car started moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I prefer to drive manually, but my hip still has limited mobility.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape looked Harry over, his gaze lingering on Harry’s face. He squinted suspiciously. Perhaps he noticed the dark circles under Harry’s eyes, who had trouble adjusting to a normal schedule.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you not sleeping well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sleeping great actually,” Harry lied, his fingers playing with the hem of his jumper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus clearly didn’t believe him. “No nightmares, no insomnia?” he inquired softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, sometimes I do have nightmares, but they don’t bother me too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. What are they about then?” the man asked. “Losing at the lottery, I assume?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very funny. No, I don’t dream about that. Although, I do dream of seeing the comet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, like they show in the animation on science channel. Did you know it was first discovered on my birthday, two years ago?” they didn’t watch the news at the Center, but Harry knew that from documentaries he watched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, and you feel it makes your fortune more special than those other unlucky fools playing the lottery,” drawled the man skeptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, when you put it that way,” Harry said, his mood sinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus seemed to sense that was the wrong thing to say. He sat silently glowering at the road. Harry’s eyes concentrated on the windows too, looking over buildings and shops that passed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are your nightmares about?” the man asked after considerable silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… Nothing special,” Harry was reluctant to open up to the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape glared at the road some more. Harry pretended he didn’t notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, when he was sick of Severus trying to burn a whole in the pavement with his gaze, he gave up. “They’re about forgetting,” he confessed quietly, his fingers back at playing with the hem of his jumper. “I dream about forgetting myself. My… name, the people I care about.” Harry's eyes traced the horizon. “There’s this dream, I... see it a lot. I know that there’s someone special in my life and I try with all my might to remember all the things that make them so dear to me. But bit by bit, no matter how hard I try, the details get lost, until I don’t remember anything. It’s a torture every time I see this dream. The sense of loss from forgetting that person is hard to explain…” Harry swallowed. “It’s devastating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry glanced at the man and was shocked to see a look of intense pain cross his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Subconscious fears perhaps,” he said through his teeth, gripping the steering wheel tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How odd.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they got to the location, he saw a small line at the entrance. Harry could see the park through the high iron fence. A strong sense of anticipation made him rush forward. Then he remembered himself and eyed Severus’s hip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should wait in the car?” he offered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” the man dismissed with a wave of his hand, already following him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The queue moved quickly and soon they each got a bracelet on their wrist. Snape tried to pay for the entry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, here, I’ve got the money,” said Harry, offering his credit card.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m the one who’s taking you out. I should be the one to pay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please. Let me pay for everything today. I want to feel like a responsible adult.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve picked the wrong place for it,” commented the man, but let Harry pay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The territory of the park appeared to be quite large. Severus wasn’t limping, but he walked slowly and it was apparent he was a little unsure of his footing. Harry didn’t want to exert him and didn’t rush the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was drinking the sight of the trees, the sight of the open sky, the warmth of the sun on his skin, the feel of chilly wind on his face. Although some trees stood bare of their foliage, there was an occasional tree here and there with yellow and red leaves on them. Harry approached a tree and placed his hand on its trunk, feeling the rough bark under his fingers. He took a yellow leaf from a tree and observed it closely. It was magnificent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stuffed it in one of his numerous pockets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus looked rather amused by his behavior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They approached a ride. It was a massive swinging ship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose you’ll want a ride,” Snape said with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gods, yes. Can we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was beginning to get a little nervous. His fingers twitched nervously. Severus covered his hands with his own to calm his restless fingers. Something warmed in Harry’s stomach at the touch, a strong sense of pleasure rocked him. He looked around them in embarrassment, afraid someone would notice his reaction, but people weren’t paying attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re trying to win a trip through outer layers of our atmosphere to your beloved comet, Potter. If you can’t handle a little swinging, you won’t be able to follow your dream,” the man said, holding Harry gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they started to swing, Harry felt butterflies in his stomach. He grinned at the wind flying in his face the fresh air smelling of damp leaves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it?” he cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s tolerable,” the man mumbled. He looked arrogantly around himself, as if daring anyone to laugh at him. Harry understood why, there were mostly children on the ship. He really should have thought twice before proposing the park to the proud man like Severus. The fact that the man would do something like this for him, made Harry’s heart swell with affection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want something bolder than this!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why am I not surprised?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was, however, forced to ride the roller coaster alone. The ride might have been too rough for Snape’s hip. Even though Harry was excited for the rides, he was also happy to simply walk in the older man’s company. Harry went on to all attractions that were located near the entrance of the park, walking slowly from one to the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you visited adventure parks a lot when you were young?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, how so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus hesitated before speaking. “My family didn’t have the money to spare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry thought about it. He pictured Snape young and small, growing too large for his old clothes, not eating enough, looking at the books at the display in shops and never being able to afford it. The young Severus in his mind was a proud little thing, always keeping his head high, his wits sharp about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember what it's like to want for anything. Materially, I mean. But I would’ve liked knowing my parents. Remus said they died when I was very young.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me more about yourself,” asked Harry, eager to continue talking, eager to listen to the man’s voice and know more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you wish to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're a chemist, right? What was your first serious achievement?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus pulled his pocket screen from his coat. “Here, look at this,” the man showed a picture of a round flat crab with a pointy tail to him. “This is a horseshoe crab. It’s a curious creature. Its blood is a beautiful shade of blue, a gallon of which used to cost more than hundred thousand netcoins. The blue color is due to high levels of copper,” he explained to Harry, who listened with a rapt attention. “The blood contains a peculiar clotting enzyme and is used to create a substance of white thick texture called LAL. You know what vaccines are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, before LAL scientists had a rather brutal method of testing if the vaccine was contaminated with bacteria. They would inject test subjects, a substantial amount of innocent fluffy bunnies, to see if some symptoms of bacteria would show. But in the 70’s of 20</span>
  <span>th</span>
  <span> century LAL was first dropped into a vaccine sample and it created a protective bubble around the bacteria, for everyone to see. The medical industry used to catch more than half a million horseshoe crabs, drain them of thirty percent of their blood and release them into the wild. Usually about a third didn’t survive the procedure. Their population was dropping rapidly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man paused and Harry waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve asked me what my serious achievement was? I saved the crab,” the man said with a proud expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s lips twitched in amusement. “Let me take a look,” he looked at Severus’ pocket screen and the picture of the crab. He pretended to expect it thoroughly. “It’s not very cute, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus scowled darkly. “You know nothing, Potter. If the crabs were to go extinct, then there would be no LAL to test the vaccines, leading to the death of thousands of test animals. Tell me Potter, are bunnies not cute?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s smile grew wider. “How did you save the crab?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve discovered a way to produce synthetic LAL,” revealed the man, cocking his brow arrogantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My hero,” Harry gasped emotionally, his palm to his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’s proud expression faltered and genuine pleasure at Harry’s words shone through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet you’re really famous amongst the chemists for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? I bet you got awards,” Harry continued in good humor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Potter, I haven’t solved the word hunger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet you did it all for the horseshoe crab. Admit it, it’s because you think it’s cuter than the regular bunny,” Harry pocked Severus in the chest with his finger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being ridiculous,” the man dismissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a picture of it on your phone. I bet you look at their pictures on lonely nights,” Harry joked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus got a funny look on his face at Harry’s words. Harry blinked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, you do, don’t you?” Harry cried. He imagined Severus looking lovingly at the picture of his crab and burst into a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be quiet, Potter!” barked Snape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it have a name?” Harry continued, he couldn’t let the matter go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ face turned serious and perhaps even a little sad. “It had,” he said quietly. “I called him Mendeleev.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly the realization sunk in. “You had this crab as a pet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry immediately regretted his gentle mocking. “Oh, I’m sorry. What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man got a faraway look in his eyes. “I didn’t take care of him properly. It lived in a tank for about four months. I knew I was too busy with work to have an animal depend on me, but after the high of discovering the new formula for LAL I bought him anyway. That was a mistake.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swallowed. “How long do they usually live?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Up to forty years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry whistled. Snape raised his brows. “Who taught you that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled sheepishly. “Ron.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked slowly for a while and Harry thought about the lonely crab in an aquarium, waiting for Severus to come from work, day after day. His thoughts were of the man losing his pet and keeping his picture, the man would probably sneer if Harry called it sentimental. The autumn was lovely, but there were clouds already gathering on the edges of the sky. But for now the sun was still shining.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked by a photo booth. Harry stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve seen this in Mysteries with Hans. Can we take a picture? I don’t have a single printed picture in my possession.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” waved the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I want you to take a picture with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man frowned. “I don’t see why you would have a need for my face printed on paper.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus relented easily enough. He stared stoically into the camera while Harry made funny faces around him. Harry printed two sets of photographs. He looked at Snape in the pictures. In one he was looking directly into the camera, an air of indifference about him, on the other he was raising one brow ironically, one picture had him look at Harry and one off to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry hadn’t realized how fond he grew of Snape’s face. Their quiet conversation on the screen at night left him with only the sound of the man’s voice. He would truly love to have a picture of the man with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he gave the second picture to Severus, he saw the man take it carefully with tips of his fingers and put it slowly in his pocket, like he would have with a prized possession. Harry put his copy in one of many inner pockets of his new coat.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Halfway there!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry fell asleep in a good mood that night, their drive to the hospital quiet and peaceful. Instead of the road he kept staring at his partner, noticing the elegant movements of his hands as they tapped restlessly on the wheel, admiring the man’s strong profile, his long silver hair. The hair was hanging limp around the man’s head, looking almost greasy, but he found himself wanting to touch it. But what he loved most about the man were those dark hypnotizing eyes with so much life in them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Promising fire, brimstone and violence. Accepting no half-measures. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dreamt a strange dream that night. He was chasing a dark figure on the streets of the city. The figure stopped running from him suddenly and sat on the ground. Harry sank on his knees too, near the odd shadow, and put his head in the stranger’s lap. “Harry” a deep voice said. Harry’s heart surged with pain. His entire being ignited with a name he remembered suddenly and he repeated it over and over like a prayer, on his knees in front of a dark figure with his head on their lap, offering himself, surrendering completely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry woke up he didn’t remember dreaming anything peculiar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Avery has a nightshift today,” Hermione reminded him when he called her. It was a rough comeback to reality after an entire day spent with Snape.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry prepared himself by drinking coffee with Ron all afternoon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, he thought, he would be ready. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sneaked past curfew into the caretaker’s closet. Naturally, he was bored within the first hour. The hallway was not as busy as it was during the day, but there were still nurses and doctors walking through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought about Severus and his crab, about the man cowering from his father in a small closet, about how his eyes looked illuminated by the bright sun. He put the picture from the photobooth by his bedside along with the leaf he picked at the park. They were two precious things that made a new memory he cherished, something only his and his alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was about three o’clock, when he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a key card unlocking the door. He jumped to his feet immediately, in panic, afraid he’d miss it. In his haste he felt himself knocking something from the shelf. As the thing fell to the floor a loud metallic ringing pierced the air. To Harry, who was sitting in silence, listening to the quiet shuffle of feet through the door, the noise was deafening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a metal bucket. Bloody hell. And there was no way Avery hadn’t heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s there?” a voice sounded cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry immediately recognized Dr. Avery. And Avery could open the door to the caretaker's closet with his key card. Harry had nowhere to hide. If he were to escape, he should do so now, before the door opens. In a split second as he heard the door beep, he made a decision. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shoved the door open roughly, knocking the man behind it on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran a few steps towards the stairs, used his key card to open the door and snuck inside onto the stairwell. His heart pounding in his ears, he felt Avery jerk the door handle from the other side, but Harry held it firmly from opening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was trapped! Again! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His thoughts fled from his head and a sense of panic was choking air from his lungs. If Avery knew Harry was trying to catch him doing something he shouldn’t, then he’d make sure Harry couldn’t leave his room anymore. Luna and Seamus would be at his mercy!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes stopped on a cleaning cart, standing at the top of the steps, a meter away from him. He reached for it and pushed it in front of the door, to slow the man chasing him, to buy himself some time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry sprinted down the stairs as if the Devil himself chased him. He heard a loud crash, but didn’t dare to slow down. He ran onto the third floor and then to the elevator, to get back. He prayed there was no one at the elevator. The door opened and he sagged with relief. It was empty. When he finally got into his room, he collapsed on the bed, feeling like he fooled fate itself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Ron and Hermione were having lunch at the stairs, when Harry had joined them and had been greeted with an angry looking Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do to Dr. Avery?!” she hissed quietly, reminding him of the angry dragon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you think I did something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was technically his breakfast, as he’d woken on only for lunch, having slept the entire morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because he’s been fiendishly searching for a caretaker, who’s been cleaning yesterday at night! He broke his wrist and his leg, chasing him, Harry,” Harry’s sandwich almost went in the wrong windpipe, as he was chewing, which didn’t go unnoticed by Hermione. “Apparently, he crashed down the stairs with the cleaning cart in tow and nearly broke his neck!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Harry said, washing the dry sandwich with Fancy Juice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry?” he smiled sheepishly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, what do you want to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Reluctantly, Harry told them what happened. During his little story Hermione’s face got increasingly more red and Ron was choking with laughter. Harry tried to explain how panicked he’d been, fearing to get caught, but Ron’s grin only grew wider.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, that Doctor's face, when he was interrogating Mr. Filch!” Mr. Filch was the main caretaker of the hospital. “Did you or did you not leave the cleaning cart unsupervised on the flight of stairs on the fifth floor?” Ron mimicked Avery’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but did he say what he was doing near Luna’s door at three in the morning?” Harry asked urgently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione frowned. “No, he didn’t actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think anybody’s suspicious about that. Doctors can walk wherever they want,” Ron complained a little bitterly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But this confirms my theory, don’t you see?” Harry spoke hastily. “I heard him open Luna’s door at night and none of us take medicine or shots to warrant a visit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe Dr. McGonagall decided that Seamus and Luna needed extra care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s possible Harry,” wouldn’t give up Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’ve had my suspicions before, but now I’m sure Avery is sabotaging the trial.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at his friends. Hermione was doubtful, he could see, and Ron didn’t take the whole ordeal seriously. Not yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, he was put on leave for two months, so you don’t need to worry about him for the near future,” his red headed friend placated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what you’re going to do when he’s working again Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry's mouth settled into a stubborn line, “I need to obtain the evidence proving he’s sabotaging the trial.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Now that Harry didn’t have to worry about Dr. Avery, he at least got a good night’s sleep. And what did he do, when the evening came? He called Severus. Unfortunately, the call went straight to the voicemail. Harry didn’t want to leave a message, but after three days of silence from the man and a dozen calls, he gave up and left a short message.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus called him back the next evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?” a velvet voice sounded concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the first time the man called him, rather than the other way around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you have anything urgent to tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, my assistant said you’ve left a message.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you weren’t picking up your phone,” he cringed at how foolish he sounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was busy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s mood sank. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, he shouldn’t have left a message. Nothing he could possibly say to Severus could be considered important. Unlike Harry, the older man had a job, an entire life outside. Where did Harry even fit in the man’s schedule? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, give me a call, when you’re free,” murmured Harry, preparing to drop the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m free now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s heart skipped a beat. He inquired after the older man’s health, his hip especially, then he listened as Severus explained to him he had been travelling abroad. After that Snape confessed he has been watching Mysteries with Hans on the airplane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only prudent that I acquaint myself with the program you’re obsessed with,” he explained cautiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry beamed at his screen. “I thought you didn’t like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t,” he could hear the man scowling. “But some episodes are not entirely hopeless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Ron and Hermione didn’t watch Mysteries with Hans for his benefit. That Severus would signify something important to Harry. It told him their relationship was as meaningful to the man, as it was to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you busy this weekend?” the man asked casually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry beamed again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape showed up early in the morning and Harry was delighted to see him. They drove through the city and Severus put relaxing music on. They moved out of the city, and the landscape changed from tall buildings to rolling hills.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re in a good mood today,” he observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just say I’ve got something off of my mind,” Harry said cryptically. “At least temporarily.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would that be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just… hospital business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape eyes narrowed. “You’re not in trouble for stealing the key card you use to get around, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man’s hands rested on the steering wheel, although the car was driving itself. His head was turned to Harry, however, his dark eyes boring into him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, although I could say I just bought it off someone,” Harry explained. “Even though I don’t even know where the stuff comes from,” the younger man added resentfully. It was a sore subject. He’d much rather talk about something else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stuff,” Severus persisted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The netcoins. Remus just showed up with the card one day. I don’t even know how much is on it. I only ever use it to buy G8.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For all Harry knew he could be spending Remus’ hard earned money on fruit juice. He didn’t like to think about that possibility, already feeling indebted to the man. Remus always avoided the subject of money whenever Harry tried to bring it up, causing endless frustration on Harry’s part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t worry about the money,” said the older man, looking away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s anger spiked. “That’s bollocks!” he exclaimed, slapping himself on the knee. “That’s what Remus repeats to me every time I try to talk to him. Hermione says I couldn’t have been well off, considering I haven’t fixed my eyesight, before I got ill. And knowing I’ve been working renovating people’s homes, I couldn’t have made that much. Where is the money Remus gave me coming from? When is it going to end? Who’s netcoins am I spending?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re worried,” remarked the man calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am. I am forty seven years old Severus. I don’t know how to fix myself a breakfast, how would I get a job to support myself? Where would I even live when the trial for the Kedmonium is finished?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus looked as if he wanted to say something. He opened his mouth, swallowed, closed it, his jaw worked for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If the drug trial is successful then the government will have to adopt a program to help people like you integrate into the society.” Harry had a distinct impression that’s not what the man wanted to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>If</span>
  </em>
  <span> the drug trial is successful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You doubt it will be? Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are two people in our group, who have started to lose their memories. Their motor function and mental functioning is suffering too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus brow furrowed. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, glancing at Harry with his fiery eyes. He looked worried. Harry put his hand on Snape’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. The man’s hand came up to brush his fingers lightly. Harry shivered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” the man asked grimly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I overheard Dr. McGonagall and Dr. Flitwick discuss Luna and Seamus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Snape’s face paled he added hastily, “I haven’t experienced any of those problems myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to know if you’ll start to,” the man insisted urgently. “Tell me, if you shall start to forget, Harry, promise me you’ll…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus, Severus,” Harry put his hand on the man’s arm calmingly. “I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When they finally stopped, there was a large farm outside Harry’s window. Tall trees stood to the entrance to the farm, with mighty trunks and yellow leaves. Harry saw a fenced large field and animals moving within it. He inhaled the fresh air and looked at the brown dirt underneath his shoes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re in one of many farms owned by my friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were greeted by two people of Severus' age.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust Mr. Malfoy warned you of our visit?”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we were expecting you, Mr. Snape,” smiled the woman. She introduced herself as Susan and her husband as James. They both had a grey bed of hair and warm cardigans around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Harry my…,” the man hesitated. Harry felt something jolt in his stomach. “Friend,” finished Snape. For some reason Harry felt disappointed for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry greeted Susan and James, shaking their hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let us show you the animals,” beckoned Susan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The animals?” Harry mouthed to Snape, puzzled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked to the field and Harry gasped as they got closer to the enclosure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Deer!” he looked at Severus in amazement. “You remembered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James opened the fence and put a large brown bag in Harry’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on, lad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry went. The bag turned out to be full of thin apple slices. Very soon, as Harry went deeper into the enclosure, he was surrounded by dark curious eyes. The deer were a light brown color with reddish hue, the fur on their legs almost black. Their dark twitching noses sniffed curiously at Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be careful, these are still wild animals,” shouted James.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The deer tried to chew on his light coat, their snouts picking apples from his hands, tickling his palms with their tongues. They had an ephemeral grace to them that filled Harry with awe. He brushed his hands down their necks, his fingers twitching in the soft fur. Their eyelashes moved like butterfly wings. Harry had never touched an animal, not even a cat or a dog. Or rather, he did not remember doing so. He was stunned by the deer’s dark curious eyes and their heaving sides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were so… alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tentative intelligence glimmered in their every move. They ate out of his hands, so free and so trusting. He smiled widely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A majestic stag with big antlers approached him and he tensed. The animal could probably really hurt him, if he did something wrong. The stag bent and picked the last slice of apple out of his hands. The deer lost all interest in him, when they understood he had no more apples.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked back out of the enclosure with a spring in his step and saw Severus watching him from behind the fence. He thanked Susan and James and they told him about their farm. Harry listened attentively as they walked back. They offered them dinner, but Severus declined politely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took the older man by his hand. “Thank you. That was… really something.” The man tried to get his hand back, but Harry pressed the closed fist to his heart. “I have no words.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better than a tale of horseshoe crab?” Snape cocked an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On their way back, a sudden thought occurred to Harry. “Deer farm? Farm? What do they breed them for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Venison.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Red deer meat, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at Severus horrified. “They eat them?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They sell them for meat. It’s the latest fashion in dieting for the more wealthy or so I’m told. Lower on calories and fat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, but…” Harry was at a loss of words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be so shocked. You’ve eaten meat at the hospital, haven’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was baffled. “Well… I’m not sure what kind of meat they give us. I… haven’t given it a second thought.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, why would you? You might eat only cultured meat, produced by cultivating the cells or live on vegetables and nuts alone, if you choose so in the future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry considered it. “Ron eats only cultured meat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a cheaper option. But there are still people, who prefer the real meat, if only on Sundays.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was still a little appalled at the thought of all those lovely deer ending up on someone’s plate. He looked at Severus, the man was staring straight ahead tapping his fingers on the steering wheel lightly. His silvery hair reflected the orange sun, shining low on the horizon. Twice now, the older man took him where he wanted to go, to something he wanted to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there was a place he yearned to visit, a place on his mind, since Remus first told him about the death of his parents. Before, he didn’t trust Severus to take him there, but now he was sure the man would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s one place I wanted Remus to take me,” Harry said into the still air of the car. “But he’s awfully busy and I hadn’t had the chance to ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well?” the man’s attention was on him now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The graves of my parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even thinking about them brought heaviness to Harry’s chest. How could he still grieve them, if he never knew them? Not even in the life before he had forgotten everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you still prefer your guardian to accompany you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but I don’t know where their graves are,” Harry spoke quickly. “Only their names and the day they’ve died.” Snape would probably have trouble finding Lily and James Potter’s graves. Harry felt a sharp stab of regret from voicing his desire. He held the parents he never knew dear to his heart, thinking of them in moments of loneliness. Now though, Snape would know how foolish he was, still pining for the glimpse of his dead parents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be enough,” a deep voice pulled Harry from his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He peered at the man, full of hope. “Really? You would take me there?” the man nodded. “It’s the first place I wanted to visit since Remus told me they were dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A look of apprehension changed Snape’s features. “Not the park?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I just thought you wouldn’t want to go to the cemetery with me. Doesn’t sound like a fun time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus appeared thoughtful the rest of the way.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry had to wait for the next weekend to see Severus again. It was raining heavily and the car drive to the destination had been silent. Once they arrived, Harry had to cling to the older man’s side, under the joint umbrella, to avoid soaking himself. Their closeness did funny things to Harry’s stomach. It warmed him like no coat could. He almost felt himself warming lower, far below his waist, causing a pleasant interest to arise in his nether regions. And instead of quelling the source of this embarrassment, Harry sought it out, leaning onto the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’ve avoided the large puddles of rainwater, going around them carefully. Harry stared at the grey sky reflected in the depths of the murky water. It was in constant motion, from the small drops of rain, giving no clear picture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is how he felt when he woke up this morning, thinking of his parents and of the man who would take him to them. The sadness and yearning churned in him, sometimes making him feel like he’d tasted ash, when he drank his juice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two buildings of memorial park stood amid artificially green loans. They were made out of gray uneven brick with large glass doors. Harry looked around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are all cemeteries like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, some have graves in the earth or mausoleums. There are also forest cemeteries, where the bodies are placed in pods and buried with a seed to sprout a tree. Of course, those are for eccentrics mostly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, the bright terracotta walls were illuminated with a warm light. A humanoid machine rolled around the corner and greeted them. It asked questions in a cool female voice and Harry only needed to name his parent’s names and the date of their passing. They walked by hundreds of graves hidden in walls, each with a name and date, following the way the machine was going. The white marble boxes made the place feel ancient.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were pinpricks in Harry’s eyes and his throat closed up. If Severus noticed he didn’t say a thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stopped before two squares that had Lily Potter and James Potter engraved on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave you alone gentlemen,” the machine rolled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at the graves of his parents helplessly. They stood there motionless, cold and indifferent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave you alone,” Harry watched Snape turn around the corner and disappear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt himself get teary eyed, but stopped the tears willfully. He traced the letters of his parent’s names reverently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi mom, hi dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like his chest was squeezed by large pincers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you were wondering why I haven’t been visiting you for the past twenty years, I have a story for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He told them he’d fallen sick with Riddle’s disease. He told them the tale of how he’s been in the special needs Care Facility and how a man named Albus Dumbledore invented a drug that countered the effects of the Riddle’s disease in his brain. There was so little of what he’d remembered. He told them about the Center. Then about meeting Ron and Hermione, and after a pause, about Severus. As he talked he felt a tightness in his chest lift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to be forty eight next year. I had hoped you were still alive and well, while I was at the Center. That I wasn’t returning to nothing, that I had family, somebody that cares about me. Imagine my surprise when Remus told me you died when I was just shy of one year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rummaged in his pockets and found the stickers with white flowers on it that he borrowed from Neville. Taking things without permission might be becoming a habit, he thought worriedly. Neville had no interest in stickers his parents brought him. His parents were still adapting to the fact they’ve lost a four year old to the disease and now they had a ten year old to deal with. A child who played video games every day and asked for a full VR gear installed in his hospital room. Not a child, who found it fun to stick ABC’s in their respective places in a coloring book. Harry put the flowers on the white marble, each at the end of his parent’s names.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus told me you really wanted to have me. That mom was excited to get pregnant, that you’ve had a room in your house decorated just for me. It makes a difference to me. Maybe you hadn’t had a chance to raise me, but you would have loved me, you would have waited for me to get better no matter what. I know you wouldn’t have forgotten me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wished he remembered their faces. He probably wouldn’t have even if he didn’t lose his memories, but he longed to remember something, anything about them. As it was, he still had Ron and Hermione. And Severus, who took the time out of his schedule to do this with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m done,” Harry called in a raised voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus joined him, not quite meeting his yes. Belatedly, Harry realized the man must have heard everything he said. If Severus noticed the two stickers on the graves, he didn’t comment on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to know what it was like at the Center for me?” Harry asked suddenly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man took him by the hand. There was familiar warmth in Harry’s stomach. Harry thought of the gesture as an encouragement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was really weird to wake up one day and to stare at a mirror and recognize your reflection. To look at the moon and know you’ve stared at it the day before and day before that. To ask the nurses what it’s called and find the name familiar, as if you’ve asked that question before. Then suddenly, before I knew it, to recognize the name they’ve called you, to learn that name as yours,” Harry paused. Severus squeezed his hand reassuringly. “It was difficult and easy at once to master the language and speaking again. To learn how to ask for water and how to ask to keep the lights on in the night, because the darkness scared me. Every time I stumbled it was like some part of me, my subconscious perhaps, caught me and I did things the right way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It used to kill me to think nobody visited me at the Care Facility. I was lucid, even when I couldn’t remember, you see? Years and years. Unanchored and drifting, but lucid. I’m sure I felt sad even if I can’t recall it now. It was important to me that I was not alone, that someone visited me. Twenty years Severus, with nobody but staff to keep me company. Somebody should have visited.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Severus was looking at him, like someone punched him in the gut. “Even if you could not remember? If you didn’t recognize their face, their name, even if you remembered nothing? Do you really believe seeing someone important to you would’ve made a difference?” the man asked with strange urgency. He was squeezing Harry’s hand so hard it hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it would,” Harry said with vehemence. “I might have not known, but in my heart, I would have felt less alone. I’m sure of it. It would have made all the difference to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape released Harry’s hand. Some heavy emotion passed on his face. Harry found himself speaking again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure you understand. I didn’t make any friends when I was at the Center. I didn’t want to speak to people as confused as me, I saved all my energy for people who I thought would be waiting for me on the other side of the bars. I knew so little of the world around me, I watched educational material and all I could see was people who’ve had someone who cared about them. It broke me, them not allowing the visitors. I dreamed about the possible family I’ve had. I asked myself: do they love me still? Do they remember me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus was staring off into space, his eyes distant, his jaw working.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hadn’t known how long I was sick. I…” Harry hadn’t told his friends about this. “In one of our individual evaluations the therapist was called away. She left me alone in the room for fifteen minutes. Enough for me to open her computer and type my name in the search bar. It said in my file I’ve been in the Care Facility for twenty years. It was a shock. I spent half of my life there, Severus. Half. When Remus told me I’ve had no spouse, no friends he’d known about, it devastated me. I was completely lost. The change of location to the St. Mungo’s hospital helped, it snapped me out of my stupor. I’ve made myself socialize when I moved there. I knew I couldn’t dream about a family I’ve never had anymore, closing myself from everyone around me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Growing into a close friendship with Hermione and Ron still meant so much to him. He knew them so little, but he had already considered them a family. He remembered the effort he put into chatting up Hermione, how hesitant she’d been to talk and how he persisted. Ron was even slower to warm up to him, but Harry was stubborn, determined to make some connections.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe they would’ve disappointed you,” Severus said, crossing his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at him questioningly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your family. What if they were not the way you’ve dreamed them to be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shook his head. “If they still wanted me after twenty years, what more could have I asked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe Harry imagined it, but in that moment he could have sworn Snape looked hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The conversation left Harry feeling drained and empty. He voiced the things he never told anyone and Severus seemed to withdraw into himself, leaving Harry to his thoughts. Harry was still emotional from visiting his parent’s graves. When Severus said goodbye to him, Harry’s body moved without a conscious thought. He put his arms around the older man, hugging him tightly, feeling the dampness of his winter coat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Harry’s surprise, Snape’s hands twitched and then came up to draw him close. Harry felt strong arms encircling him in tight embrace. He breathed deeply, feeling the man’s scent on his tongue. They stood like this for a while, Harry feeling his heart ache with longing to be held like this forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, when they broke apart, Severus’ eyes had a fire in them that spoke not of danger or anger, but of something warm and steady, grounding Harry, who felt like he was parting with his limb, when he said his goodbyes.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Next early morning greeted him with Ron, his face still rumpled from sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good news mate,” he announced grinning. “Ginny was made vice-president.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry yawned and checked the time. It was ungodly early.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t help but thank you for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry paused mid another yawn. “Me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re friends with her chief. She’s been pining for the position for over a decade, we all thought it was a lost cause. She wanted me to thank you too,” Ron rubbed his hands together to warm them. It was the very end of November and it was getting pretty chilly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She did? But I had nothing to do with her promotion!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you say so. I’ve had an idea I thought you might like, let’s gather together for lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were eating lunch at their usual spot, with Hermione between them, when Ron disclosed his idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since Ginny owes Harry her position, I know what you’re going to say mate – but nobody was going to make Gin vice-president before you and Snape bonded over whatever it is you have bonded over, I thought we’d ask her to do a background check on Avery. They do them all the time at her firm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione’s eyes went round. “Ron! You’re a genius!” She washed away her chicken with kiwi juice. “But she’ll need to look for something specific. Some connection he might have with Riddle disease trials.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But aren’t the trials for the new drug confidential? I’ve never read anything about them in the press,” interjected Ron.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They are,” Hermione looked at Harry. “But I’m sure there’s something there,” she quickly added to his benefit. “Even though I still have doubts about a doctor willfully harming his patients.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry beamed at both of his friends. They finally looked like they were taking his theories seriously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>December met them with the first snow. Most of the days now Harry sat under the blankets, to keep himself warm, as his pajamas were too thin for the hospital's new temperature. Almost all autumn the weather had been gloomy, drowning the city in the rain. Now everything was washed in white, the heavy snowfall unseen in these parts of the country half a century before. Fortunately for Harry, the next weekend brought him Remus and warm clothes along with him. The clothes were soft and worn and Harry was surprised to find out the sweaters belonged to him. Although a couple of them had loose threads at the hem, in front of the sweater, worried away by anxious fingers. He couldn’t recognize a single item of clothing, but he didn’t let it get him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’ve been out with your friends, the nurses?” Remus engaged him in conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… not exactly.” Since Harry and Snape visited the graves of Harry’s parents, they hadn’t talked much. Severus was busy with work and Harry felt strangely empty because whenever he called, he was redirected to voicemail. He found himself thinking about the man quite often, tracing his silhouette in his mind’s eye, imagining him making business deals, his face serious, his posture intimidating. Whenever he thought about the older man hugging him back, or the sensation he’d got when they were pressed together under a small umbrella, he found himself growing restless. He’d appreciate a call, even if it was to tell him what the man had for breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been with a patient I’ve met,” Harry finally confessed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has been taking me around the city. I… I’ve visited my parent’s graves, Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus sat at the bed, mouth agape. “Oh, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve realized I don’t even know what they look like. I would like to see their pictures. Will you… tell me about them?” Harry worried the hem of his old sweater.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course Harry. What would you like to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s how they spent three hours just talking. During them Remus got only three separate calls, and he promised to call all of the people back. Remus showed him the pictures on his pocket screen, he had an entire file system divided by the decades, each of them had pictures from the past. Most of them were Remus and his family, but some were of Harry’s parents, smiling at the camera. His mother had short red hair and his father had a mane of unruly black mop on top of his head, exactly like Harry’s own. He found out his mother liked raspberry jam and his father was fond of eggnog. His father was quite well off and his mother was comfortably middle class. When Harry thought he just found the source of all the money he’d been spending, Remus told him that all what was left from Harry’s inheritance was spent by his aunt, before Harry had even turned eighteen. At the end of these three hours, Harry felt like he’d discovered a whole another world and he was eager to know more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a lawyer, right?” he asked after a pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am. Most of my clients are Pro Bono cases. It means they don’t pay me for the job. I take as many such cases as I can. Unfortunately, because I take additional workload, not covered by the firm, I am awfully busy. Tonks -,” his wife, “is always cross with me for this reason. But my clients often live in poverty and in need of someone who will stand up for them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The reason why the man was awfully busy, Harry knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was planning on staying with Hermione for Christmas. Do you mind if I spend a couple of days with her and Ron?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would have liked for you to spend Christmas with us and introduce you to the family, but I understand if you want to spend that time with your new friends. I’ll tell the Doctors you’re allowed to leave the hospital for longer than a day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took Remus’ hand in his own. “Thank you. And I’ll meet Tonks and the kids, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione called Harry for their usual spot on Monday. When Harry arrived with a packet of Fancy Juice Ron was already at the stairs, grinning. He was holding a thin folder in his right hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got it!” Harry cried, plucking the folder from Ron’s hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything to know about Avery,” Ron grinned. Then his face fell. “I skipped through the contents. Nothing unusual unfortunately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No criminal record?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry opened the file and read it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Graduated top of his class with honors, has been working at the same hospital for the last fifteen years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what I expected,” he said disappointed, skimming the contents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione took the file. “Ron, this is amazing! This even has his salary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It still doesn’t help us much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione studied the dossier. She frowned reading it and mumbled something under her breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Harry asked, curious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, this can’t possibly be right,” she announced. “I simply can’t believe it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?! Ron cried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Avery might be trying to sabotage the trial,” she said gravelly. “Look here. Anguis Pharma paid him eight hundred thousand netcoins, </span>
  <em>
    <span>per lecture</span>
  </em>
  <span>, on challenges in orthopedic surgery. He’s given five lectures, that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>four million</span>
  </em>
  <span> netcoins.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does this have to do with anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anguis Pharma is the leading investor in research among neurodegenerative diseases. They’ve been trying to find the miracle drug that would cure Alzheimer, Riddle’s disease for half a century. They are competing with Fawkes, Albus Dumblredore’s research laboratory in obtaining the miracle drug to cure Riddle's disease. Now, the Care Facilities for the Riddle’s disease are costing the government billions of dollars annually, so it promised to give billions of netcoins to the company that would find the cure. Forward to present, Kedmonium enters the scene,” Hermione rubbed her forehead with two fingers. “Nobody would pay Dr. Avery four million netcoins for just the lectures,” she concluded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think they paid him to hurt Luna and Seamus?” asked Harry breathlessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something like that. I’m sure he would do whatever he did to them to both you and Neville, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The nurse’s station prevents him from going unnoticed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. Harry, we need to tell other Doctors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nobody would believe us, Hermione. We need evidence, proof. How do we prove the lectures he’s given are fake?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron was scowling now. “Harry is right, Hermione, I’m sure Avery read the lectures and even maybe made some effort to make them entertaining, knowing him. Who’s to say they’re not worth four million netcoins?” Ron made a face. “God, imagine what he could do with that money. Harry, he could buy himself a ticket to space, to watch your comet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Phoenix. Somehow I doubt he’d do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron shrugged. “At least we have a motive now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night Harry went to sleep full of iron determination to catch Avery on doing the crime. But completely different trouble arose in his subconscious. Instead of his usual nightmares, he saw himself lying in bed, naked, with Severus rutting between his thighs. Snape’s long gray hair cascaded down his back, his mouth open and moaning in pleasure, his back sweaty beneath Harry’s palms. He was caressing Harry’s body, allowing the sensation to build, each touch possessive, leaving invisible marks on Harry’s skin. The younger man was pinned to the bed, hypnotized by those dark eyes, burning with passion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry woke up to tightly coiled pleasure cascading down his body, his cock sputtering his release.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lay there, his boxers wet and stared into the ceiling. Was this as unexpected, as it seemed? He should have been clued when he saw the man and his manager, Ginny, together. He’d been jealous. This was what he wanted from the man. The passion, the lust, the fire in his dark, hard, molten rock eyes. The attraction was far from platonic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God damn it! He was doomed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew what men did together in bed. In the Center, closer to the date of their release, one of the attendants sat all of the older men before a screen and showed them a film of man and woman engaging in sexual intercourse. He made them watch all thirty minutes of dull repetitive motion. Then he showed them a film of two men having sex in similar fashion. Harry was confused by the footage, none of it moving him to any state of arousal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> intensely curious, especially when two men entered the picture. He watched them perform oral sex on each other. A fascinating picture for sure, but hardly sexually gratifying in any way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before this dream he hadn’t had any clues to his own sexuality, to his needs in that sphere of his life. It was like he had been asleep, like a tree, waiting for the spring to come. And now, in cold snowy December, wrapped in his old sweaters, heat of a different kind was beginning to bloom in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Severus called him the next day, Harry found himself unusually quiet, speaking in short uncomplicated sentences. The dream was still on his mind, making his armpits damp and his groin tight. When the screen chirped the familiar tune and Harry knew it was the older man calling, he even considered dropping the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Very quickly Snape’s voice grew peeved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, why would you think that?” Harry faked innocence. He felt far from innocent at the moment, with the desire pressing in from the back of his mind at the sound of the man’s velvety voice. He loved that voice. “Nothing’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought to take you out to dinner at my house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t know what to say. He craved to know more about Severus, to know where and how he lived, to look at the things he touched daily and that touched him, but right now it all seemed a little dangerous to him. Could he keep himself under control?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The longer the silence stretched, the more irate he sensed the man had become. “If it’s not something you’re interested in you can always refuse my offer,” he said in a tight reserved voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What could a little dinner hurt anyway? “No, I’m interested.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove to what felt like the other end of town. Harry wouldn’t look Severus in the eyes and the man got more suspicious by the minute. He still refrained from driving, although his walk has gotten a lot more steadier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve told me two people from your group have started to regress to their previous state. Are they any better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus probably thought he was worried and withdrawn for this reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, they aren’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you feel then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no memory problems.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The gray haired man looked relieved. He put his hand on Harry’s knee, and squeezed it reassuringly. Harry’s groin blazed with heat, he flinched and Severus put his hand away. The hand that touched him closed in a fist, as if afraid to touch him again. The older man’s eyes were fixed in the road. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus gave me permission to spend the night outside the hospital,” Harry blurted, blushing to his roots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he, now?” the man asked calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove into a wealthy neighborhood, with picture perfect houses. Some of them already had their Christmas decorations up. The lawns all had been covered with snow, Harry had noticed a snowman in front of one of the houses. They stopped before an old two story house, that looked nothing like large steady brick houses they drove past. The house didn’t look like it belonged to that neighborhood at all. The house was small, built with uneven bricks, with compact windows, that looked dusty at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You live here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at the moment. I grew up in this home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was dusty inside. Harry sneezed as soon as he stepped through the threshold. Severus gazed around himself self-consciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have cleaned the house for your visit,” he said regretfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truthfully, it was fascinating to see a place so dusty after St. Mungo’s extreme cleanliness. Despite the layer of dust, the inside of the house looked cozy enough. The walls were painted pale blue and there were heavy shelves in the living room, made of dark wood, holding a ton of books. There was a small brown sofa facing an old fashioned TV screen and a grey rug on the floor. There was a big, empty aquarium tank standing along one of the walls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mendeleev’s house I suppose?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was,” Severus swallowed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kitchen was small with pastel yellow cabinets, with a matching yellow lamp with four lights on the ceiling. It didn’t look half bad inside, as it seemed from outside. The place smelled of dust and paper, the furniture was a little old fashioned, but there were modern appliances everywhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s really nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The place has been renovated after my parent’s passing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t this way before? When you were growing up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’s eyes traced the cabinets and the walls. “No. Someone took the time and effort to make the house look the way it does now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way the older man said someone, with gentle affection, his eyes sad, probably meant a friend had done the renovating. Harry suppressed his curiosity and didn’t ask after whoever it was. If Snape wanted to tell him, he would. Instead he focused on the other things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The houses on this street are…” Harry trailed off, trying to be diplomatic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite. When they bought the neighborhood and tore down all of the houses, they tried to buy my house and build over it, but I’ve never sold it. They offered me five times the market price, when new houses were built, if you can image,” Snape raised his eyebrows. “Fools.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s dear to you then,” Harry said, placing an open palm on a cool wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” was a short answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a bag of fresh tomatoes and mushrooms on the table. Severus started cooking, while Harry watched him work. The man put the tomatoes in hot water for a minute and then skinned them. Harry took the knife and tried to chop them, but they were smooth and slippery in his hand. He almost cut himself twice. The mushrooms were better, though. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pasta was ready within twenty minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t live here, where do you live?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In a house near your hospital. It has more space for my work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have another crab there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no pets, if you don’t count half a giant, my guard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finished the supper and Severus showed him the rest of the house. There was a small bedroom on the second floor, it had a large bed with green covers, and a small ornate wardrobe. All the furniture was made from a quality dark brown wood. It seemed too expensive for a house like this. Harry wondered down the narrow corridor to the bathroom, then to another door. It was locked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus, what’s behind this door?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was it Harry’s imagination or the man paled?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing important,” said the man indifferently, almost too calm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry could immediately tell the man was lying. His curiosity piqued, he left the door alone. For now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched the science channel, until Harry was sleepy. They sat at the sofa, close enough for their thighs to touch. Harry was acutely aware of the heat of Snape’s thigh. Snape’s shoulder was pressed against his and Harry’s head lolled onto it. Snape’s fingers briefly smoothed the hair from Harry’s forehead, making him smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How many desalination plants do you have?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Over the world? More than three hundred.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry eyebrows shot up. “How come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape sighed. “For fifteen years my firm held a patent over the method for desalination used in my plants. It was widely disputed if an important technology like mine should be even patented and my lawyers fought lawsuits for all of fifteen years I held the patent. There were water shortages due to climate change and the ocean was claiming many coastal cities. I was the first person in bringing fresh water to them,” the man uncurled his fingers and traced a pattern on Harry’s knee. Harry's throat went dry. “I couldn’t have started without proper investment, naturally. My friend, who owns the deer farm, was the one who believed in me and gave me enough netcoins for the first plant. I don’t consider myself a businessman. I am a scientist first and many times my business suffered because of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Under those deft fingers his knee started to tingle. All thoughts about Snape’s work fled his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could stay here for the night,” he offered, out of the blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is unwise,” Snape said with a finality that crushed all of Harry’s hopes.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Be warned, explicit scenes are coming!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The following week Harry’s subconscious has declared war on him. All of his dreams were full of Severus. Sometimes they were kissing, sometimes they were doing what the men in that sex film did to each other. Sometimes they simply walked, holding hands. When he called the man that hellish week, his voice filled Harry with a desperate sort of hope and longing, longing he felt right in his soul. It felt like all his life (short as it was) he was sailing, adrift, on high winds, completely aimlessly, encountering nothing but the sea and he had suddenly discovered land, discovered somewhere he could moor himself. A destination of sorts, an answer to the question he never asked, an answer to all the questions he had ever had, even. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was lost to this feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then why did it feel like he finally found himself?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Severus invited him to dinner at his house again, Harry had almost said no. But when he thought of the man dining alone, he had to say yes. This time the house was scrubbed of dust, with the floors shining, the smell of old books, paper, gone. Harry rather missed it. The dinner was already on the plates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you cook all of this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’ve ordered food for this evening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man opened a bottle of wine. “I do not know if you’re allowed to drink…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m allowed,” Harry lied. He didn’t know if he was strictly forbidden or not. He did not take medication anymore, so what harm could a little wine do? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we celebrating something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man almost dropped the bottle on the floor. “It… it was an important date for me in the past.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took a first sip of the wine. He found the aftertaste intriguing, the warm rush of blood in his throat strangely addicting. The food was salty and so unlike the bland hospital food, he found himself reaching for the glass quite often. As the evening progressed, Snape’s dark eyes grew more captivating, his charm on Harry more potent by the minute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry found himself mesmerized by the way the man reached for his glass, the way he swirled his wine, by his graceful hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mesmerized by the line of his throat, skin thin and translucent, the movements of his adam's apple, as he exposed his neck and drank from a glass. Utterly seductive and hypnotic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this your first time drinking?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Harry took another sip from his glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does the world seem strange to you? I can’t imagine what it must have been like, being exposed to everything the world has to offer without any reference frame, no context.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some of it is strange, the news is especially overwhelming. I quit watching it after it made me depressed. The droughts, the floods, the fires, snowstorms, people losing crops and cattle.” Harry thoughts for a moment. “I like Mysteries with Hans because their disasters are small and controlled. A husband poisoning his wife, a niece seeking to get her inheritance. I mean sure, there’s war, but at least with the war you have some concrete enemy. The problems of this time seem overwhelming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus cleaned up after their dinner and Harry sneakily downed the rest of the wine left in the bottle. The floor was swaying, a little, underneath him and he found himself in a pleasant haze. He figured out how to turn on the entertainment system in the living room and the slow pleasant music filled the room. He swayed from side to side to the rhythm of it. It was an old tune, with violins and gentle flutes, an orchestra playing and a man with deep baritone singing. Nothing like the music Hermione or Ron listened to. It made him think of dark rooms, filled with moonlight, of Severus, with his dark expressive eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a bold step and stumbled over the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’s hands were there to catch him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dance with me?” Harry asked into his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ arms circled his waist. He smelled faintly of garlic and fennel from their supper. They started to sway to the rhythm. Harry basked in the warm scent of Severus’ body, the feel of his bony arms resting on the small of his back. It felt perfect. He was getting aroused, just from this, from the closeness of the other man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lifted his head from Snape’s shoulder and put his nose to the crook of Snape’s neck. Placing a tiny insignificant kiss to test the waters, he was delighted when he wasn’t rebuffed. He kissed Snape’s neck again, and again, he wanted to taste the hollow of his throat. He licked the salty skin there and felt Severus inhale sharply. He couldn’t reach Severus’ mouth, so he continued exploring the older man’s neck. The skin there was so delicate and thin, with few lines betraying Severus’ age. Harry was drunk on his desire, on Snape’s scent, on wine, his head swimming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood on his tip toes trying to reach Snape’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Snape’s voice was hoarse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re drunk,” Snape said disdainfully. He put himself out of Harry’s embrace abruptly, and walked out of the room. Harry felt like someone punched him in the gut. He sank into the sofa and put his face in his hands. There was a sizable tent in his trousers, but he ignored it, feeling cold and rejected. A few seconds ago he was sure everything was leading to a kiss, but now he felt the stinging burn of humiliation, after having his advances rebuffed. He felt too confident after the wine, too bold, acted too rashly, without thinking things through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry raised his head and saw the man he wanted, desperately so, standing there with a sheet and a blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not driving you to the hospital in the state you’re in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry let the man make the bed on the sofa, watching as he did so with precise elegant movements. When it was done, the man retired for the night leaving Harry alone. Harry stripped to a shirt and boxers and lay under the blanket, blinking back the tears. He promptly fell asleep, saved from ugly thoughts by the alcohol in his system.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He awoke in the middle of the night, his throat parched. It was dark, but he saw a silhouette, sitting in a chair, staring at his sleeping form. There was only one other man in the house, who could be watching him sleep. Comforted from his earlier misery, Harry fell asleep again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had a faint headache in the morning and they stopped on their way back to the hospital to visit a pharmacy. In silence. Severus had been avoiding his gaze all morning. When they parted ways, Harry tried to hug the man, but Severus turned away and left promptly. Feeling rejected again, Harry hid in his room, taking a couple of cartons of the expensive fruit juice with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t call Severus to congratulate him on holidays. It was apparent to him now, that the older man wasn’t interested in him in that way. Feeling heartbroken, he wandered the hospital, trying to put his mind off the man. Everything was so easy before he met him, he had been content to dream about his comet, to talk to his friends and live in a protected bubble of the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, though, he couldn’t even distract himself with his favorite program.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough, Christmas time arrived. And with it, the promised visit to Hermione. Harry could hardly believe how fast the time flew by. Harry, Ron and Hermione all drove to her place, when Hermione’s shift was over. Ron whistled, clearly impressed, when he saw Hermione's flat. It was brightly lit, with white walls and white furniture. The flat even had a small terrace, Harry looked at the view from a balcony, noting the view of the sunset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One thing though, surprised Harry. The pictures. Pictures of Hermione’s friends, pictures of her nieces, pictures of her parents. Looking at them, he realized Severus’ house didn’t have a single picture of him or of anybody else. Wasn’t that a bit odd?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all drank tea in the kitchen and then headed out for Christmas shopping. It was not Harry’s first Christmas, but it was the first that mattered. Ron left them to join his family for dinner and Harry and Hermione went shopping alone. Hermione told him her parents were celebrating the holidays on a beach in Australia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shopping center was unusually crowded, with people carrying bags and boxes full of presents.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave you to your shopping. Let’s meet here in an hour, shall we? Don’t get lost,” instructed Hermione.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry walked from one shop to another, looking for presents for his friends and Severus too. He got two matching sets of red and yellow scarf and gloves for his friends, and green and gray scarf with black gloves for Severus. Something about the green and gray colors just spoke Snape to him inexplicably. The gloves took him a while to pick, because he wasn’t sure about the sizes. When the payment on his credit card was accepted, he breathed a sigh of relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron came back from “The Burrow”, as they lovingly called their house, and the three of them cooked a meal together. Harry was practically useless, chopping the veggies at the snail’s pace, but his friends didn’t complain about it. Leaving the stew to cook, they decorated a tree, with Hermione instructing them which ornaments to hang and what to leave in the boxes. Harry was very careful with glass ornaments, remembering the time he had cut himself on them at the Center.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they exchanged the presents, Harry got a new pajama set from Hermione and a detective novel from Ron. Harry, determined to enjoy himself, didn’t let himself think of Severus. After the filling supper, where Ron complained he was full already from dinner with his parents, but nonetheless ate all of the stew, it was time for them to try out Hermione’s second passion after nursing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The VR gaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron and Harry took turns to put on the gear. Harry discovered he was quite good at rhythm games, but Ron’s experience was a disaster. His friend felt queasy whenever the lights started flashing, and the pictures changed too rapidly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate it,” he concluded, tossing the headset away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed. Ron pouted. Hermione made Ron try VR chess. He was lost to the world for thirty minutes. Ron reluctantly agreed to spend the night at Hermione’s. He and Harry lay on the bed in the second bedroom, when Ron nudged his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Avery is coming back at the start of January, you know. What do you plan to do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Avery! With all that’s been happening with Severus, he completely forgot about Avery!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know yet,” he whispers into the darkness. There has to be a way to stop Avery, something he hasn't considered yet. His last plan was a complete failure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s got four million netcoins in his pocket. That kind of money can make a person dangerous, Harry. He’s making invalids out of two people already. I don’t think he’ll hesitate to add a third to that list.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He must be stopped. Whatever he’s doing to Luna and Seamus has to end before it’s too late, Ron.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know. I’m just saying. The bloke is dangerous, Harry.” Ron shifted on the bed, tugging on the blanket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, right now I’m out of ideas. I usually watch Mysteries with Hans for inspiration.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ron snickered. “Don’t tell that to Hermione.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Harry got back to the hospital there was nothing to distract him from uneasy thoughts. He had been thinking of calling Severus, but he was too afraid the man was going to ignore him. He found solace in the novel Ron gifted him. His reading was a little slow, but he’d already got the inspiration he needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew what he was going to do, when Avery came back to the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was going to get evidence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night of the New Year found Harry incredibly lonely. Hermione and Ron were with their families and Harry has been reading the novel Ron gifted him. He went and bought a couple of packets of Fancy Juice and entered their code into his lottery account. He stared at the picture with Severus, the one they took when they went to the amusement park. Being rejected hasn’t dampened his desire. He still remembered what it was like to sway to the music in the man’s arms. Still remembered the taste of the man on his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bugger it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He called Severus minutes before midnight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To his astonishment, Severus picked up the call immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence. Then:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… hi. It’s me, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a long-suffering sigh, Harry could hear it. “I knew it was you, Potter. I don’t have a habit of picking up business calls at this time of day on New Year’s Eve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More silence followed. This was a bad idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was calling to apologize for what happened the last time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve had too much wine, it’s understandable. As far as I am concerned there’s nothing you did that requires an apology.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Again, Severus insisted he was drunk. “That’s not why I kissed you though. You keep repeating it was the wine, well, it wasn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Potter…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am a man pushing fifty. I know who and what I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been lucid for only two years,” reminded him the older man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost three soon. I know you don’t feel the same way about me, I am not going to pressure you…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pressure me? You couldn’t do that even if you put all your wits into it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite unfair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I... apologise. I was simply trying to say,” said the man, forcibly apologetic. “That your social circle is limited. When you’re released from the hospital you’ll meet other people. People your age, or younger, who will interest you more. I’m an old man, Harry, and I don’t do casual affairs, no matter how tempting they might be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry saw an opening and went for it. “Do you find me tempting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a groan. “Have you heard </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> I told you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard you, but now you need to listen to me. I liked you from the first time I saw you. Heard you speaking, even. Do you believe that some things are just meant to be? That’s how I feel about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Romantic nonsense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes, a little hurt. “Are you spending the holidays alone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh… we could have celebrated the New Year together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man drew an audible breath. “Harry,” he said and Harry smiled hearing his name again. “I’ve been alone for twenty years. I’m an unpleasant man, or so I’m told. I spend all of my free time working. Throughout the years, after I’ve come to possess more money than I could possibly spend, people tried to get close to me. I did not trust it, nor did I want it, no matter how stubborn or skilled they were, they did not sway my resolve to spend my time alone. I cannot offer you a family, I am not a particularly warm man. If it’s affection of that sort you seek, you’ll be disappointed with me. What valuable time you have, instead of spending it exploring your options, you’re foolishly offering to spend it with me and I… I am not strong enough to insist you stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry resisted an urge to kiss his screen. He’d look a right dolt if he did it. “I do not need to explore my options. What I really would have wanted is to have a connection to my past life, someone who knew me before, someone who’s waited for me all this time, but that’s just a dream and I know by now, it’s impossible. I’ve been in the hospital for six month, and I've met my fair share of strangers of all ages. How could you know what it is that I need, when you don’t know who I am? I don’t even know who I am yet, not fully. But when I am with you it seems unimportant. I guess the question is: are you ready to trust me when I say I want this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus didn’t respond.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Lupin came to visit in a couple of days. He brought Harry a cake to celebrate the holidays. Harry shared it with Ron and Hermione. On Saturday, however, Severus took him out to another dinner. They drove to a familiar house now in companionable silence. Harry, still unsure, avoided looking in the man’s general direction, but he often felt the weight of heavy gaze upon himself. The man acted as if Harry didn’t ask him for trust, aside from the long silent looks, that made Harry’s skin prickle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Avoiding the nervous energy between them Harry went for a walk around the house, while Severus cooked dinner. He ended up on the second floor by the locked door. The mysteriously locked room tempted him close. He tried the lock again, but it stayed closed. Something bothered him about the way Snape said “Nothing important.” He had a feeling the man was trying to hide something behind that door. Harry sneaked into the first floor, looking for the key and found the keychain with several keys resting on the table in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I left the sauce in the car,” Severus said, clearly irritated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the perfect opportunity, Harry realized. While the man was out, he grabbed the keychain and ran upstairs with the keys. Only on New Year’s Eve Harry asked the man to trust him and now he was breaking that trust, trying to sneak into the locked room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was he doing?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panting, his heart hammering, he tried every single key on the keychain, but none of them opened the door. On the first floor, the front door banged shut. Harry rushed back. Severus hadn’t noticed the keys missing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man peered at him curiously. “You’re panting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just trying a few pushups,” lied Harry smoothly. He put the keys back where he took them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did he do that? For all he knew, the room might be Snape’s parent’s bedroom, holding only bad memories and nothing out of the ordinary. He cursed himself, promising not to do that again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unusually apologetic, Harry hugged the man from behind, while he was cutting the bread, knowing he was crossing the line again. But if Severus wasn’t interested in him in that way, surely he would never invite him to dinner in this house again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” Snape huffed in warning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, that’s my name. My second name is tempting, as you’ve observed so accurately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man turned from his embrace. This caused his elbow to collide with the sauce pan, the contents flying everywhere, as it crashed onto the floor. Harry licked some off his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it was a delicious desauceter,” he winked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape almost smiled. “It’s in your hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yours too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to shower first, wait here, I won’t be long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry started to clean, as best as he could, with an old stained towel, but another idea entered his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, he shouldn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then, if he didn’t, if they stayed like this, sitting across each other dining, never touching, only looking – could he bear it? Could he truly? When he wanted to kiss, to touch, to taste, to possess even.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He approached the bathroom door. He waited until the water in the shower started running and quietly sneaked into the bathroom. He undressed quickly, tossing the dirty clothes away. He took his glasses off, knowing they would fog in the shower. Harry looked himself over. Skinny, short, hairy. It will have to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He climbed into the shower. Severus stood there with his back to him. He turned when Harry closed the shower door with a soft click.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry got right in his face, their skin touching. The warm water trailed down Harry’s body, and the slippery tiles had been unsteady beneath his feet. Although it was blurry, he could tell Snape looked like he’s been robbed of air. The man’s bony hand closed around Harry’s wrist and yanked him aside, jerking him stark against the cold bathroom wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this really what you want?” the man asked, eyes burning. Then warm lips descended upon his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kissing was like nothing Harry imagined, with Severus’s tongue so alive and willful in his mouth. It was wetter, warmer, hotter than he had expected. It was also incredibly arousing. Severus pressed him against the wall, their bodies touching. They kissed until they had no air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gods, yes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although Harry was cold, he didn’t care at the moment, the heat of Snape’s mouth was all he needed. He felt the man’s wiry body with his skin and it was more intimate than anything he experienced in his life so far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the sudden loss of contact, Harry opened his eyes, only for Snape to turn the shower head so it hit their bodies perfectly. The warm water trailed down their bodies and Harry smiled blearily. Snape's eyes lit up with something like mischief and then he pressed himself against Harry and assaulted his mouth again. Harry’s left hand was still trapped in Severus’s grip, so he used his right hand to touch the body pressed against his. He trailed Severus’s shoulders shyly, then his back, and after his hand found himself on the man’s buttock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed his hips against Snape’s body, getting some blissful friction on his cock. It continued on for a while. Severus kissed like a man starved for it, like he was breathing air through Harry’s lungs, alternating between being delicate and purposeful, to being eager.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man broke the kiss and sank to his knees, removing his hand from Harry’s wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s breath caught in his lungs. Before he knew it, the man was swallowing him down and Harry yelped from a sudden onslaught of sensation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohbuggeryes!! Ung…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could see the blurry picture of what Severus was doing and it was incredibly arousing. He tried not to cling to the silver hair, but was desperately failing. The silky texture of older man’s mouth, the heat, the pressure, it was all too good to keep him from moaning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus! Gods, please!” he begged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man played with his ballsack, then sucked the tender skin there. Harry yelped something unintelligible. He could feel Severus’ big nose brushing his cock, the sensation erotic enough to make Harry mad with want. To know this was the man he wanted so desperately, to know he was on his knees before him. Harry’s hips wouldn’t keep still and Severus all but let him buck into his mouth, expertly moving away, when Harry had been too enthusiastic. Harry’s eyes were glued to Severus’s blurry face, almost attractive from this angle. Then the man looked at him with those fiery black eyes and Harry was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Close, close!” he warned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man on his knees swallowed Harry’s cock further and hummed. Pushed over the edge, pleasure coiling in his gut, Harry came with a hoarse cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When his heartbeat calmed down he cupped Snape’s face lovingly and Severus hid it in Harry’s hands. Fierce protectiveness surged through Harry. Gods. He would do anything for this man, he didn’t care what anybody thought, he’d convince Severus this was right. Nothing that felt this good could be wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus attempted to lift himself, but stumbled. Harry’s arms gripped his by the slippery shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your hip!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it appears not to take kindly to sitting in this position.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, they managed to get the man to stand, but he was limping slightly when they finished showering. They had to use a small hand towel for drying, sharing it between the two. Severus put it around his hips and slowly walked to the bedroom, with Harry trailing behind him, stark naked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man opened a closet and put a dark blue bathrobe on. Harry found a navy blue silk robe with beautiful peacocks on them in the closet. It was so unlike anything Severus would have chosen for himself. He put it on. When he sat on the bed next to Severus, the man lifted his eyes to gaze at him. The older man looked stunned for a moment, recognition flashing in his eyes. Shakily, he pointed his finger at Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No more of that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man probably meant sneaking up on him naked. Harry grinned. On sudden impulse he leaned in and kissed the tip of the pointed finger. Snape’s eyes widened comically and he jerked away, his hand closing in a fist. His hands seizing in fists, shoulders locking, his entire body going tense spoke of the man clearly in pain. His eyes looked anguished for a moment, his skin pale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t know what was happening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I do something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man closed his eyes, his expression going unreadable. “Nothing, you did – nothing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was the same “nothing” he used when talking about the locked room. Harry was at a loss of what it meant. Except it must have been covering for something important. Some mystery undiscovered. What hid behind that closed door?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The clothes were put in the laundry, but not without some trouble. Severus glared at the washing machine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me guess,” Harry leaned in, looking closer at the controls. “You don’t recall how it works?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It can’t be more complicated than a desalination plant!” the man glared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stared at it for thirty seconds, pushed some buttons and then pressed play. “Here we go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape glared at him again. “Simple minds work alike, it seems.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Simple,” Harry winked. “But tempting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, do shut up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had dinner in their robes and Harry jumped in the middle of it. “Your present! I completely forgot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shrugged on a coat and made a trip to the car parked outside. He returned with a bag and gave it to Severus. Severus got the scarf and the gloves out carefully, trying the gloves on. They appeared to fit him perfectly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… quite soft.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve bought Ron and Hermione the same ones, only in yellow and red.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus ran his hand through the scarf, admiring its softness. “Why the silver and green?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. I looked at it and thought of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Silver and green were my house colors in school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really? I didn’t know that. What school did you go to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A private school. They’ve had a program for gifted children. That’s where I’ve met my friend, I’ve told you about him,” Severus’ eyes got a faraway look. “My father used to hate me for attending something we could never afford, even though he never paid for it. I had harbored some illusions he’d be proud and for a short time, he was. Then I started to emulate my classmates, you see. Walk straighter, answer to his taunts; speak as if I wasn’t born where I was. He perceived the change as an affront to who we were, a mask of a fellow born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was determined not to let me forget where I came from. He was mistaken; I never tried to close my eyes to </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> or his cruel lessons.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry observed the way Snape’s mouth twisted into a scowl, then went flat, lips thin. “And your mom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She would clean and iron my uniform every day in the hopes I wouldn’t stand out too much to my classmates,” despite his earlier ire his expression softened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never talk about her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Time doesn’t heal everything, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry thought about his own parents. “Did she love you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I believe she did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was her name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eileen. My mother was a strong woman, she carried her bruises proudly, but she never left him,” Snape’s father, “no matter what he did. I told myself I would never let myself get attached enough to be like either of my parents.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took Snape’s hand in his. It was cooler than his, with a thin, translucent skin, betraying the man’s age. “I wish I could share my past with you,” he said wistfully. “I want you to know everything about me. Except, there’s not much to tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus watched him turn his hand this way and that. “What, no hidden thoughts, no secrets?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, not exactly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does that mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry thought about Avery and his plan. “There’s something I need to do and you’ll know about it, if I’m successful. I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They retired to one bed. Snape tried to retire him to the sofa once more, but Harry slipped into the bed and buried himself beneath the covers. For a while, Harry was content to stare at the ceiling. Then he sneakily snuggled to Severus’ side. The man kissed the top of his head and they drifted quietly to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He dreamed the dream again. He was chasing a shadow of someone important and calling their name, only for syllables to slip through his hands like sand. He had to get to </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>, to catch them, they were vital somehow to him, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>mattered</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Perhaps this was the most major person Harry had ever known. He was running, and not knowing why, his heart aching, his lungs burning, until he had to stop, until he didn’t know who or where he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He awoke to the sound of a deep soothing voice and a palm circling his back. “Harry, Harry. It’s only a nightmare.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, a name floated into his consciousness. “Severus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s me. You were having a bad dream.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry closed his eyes on the verge of tears, the frustrations of his dream still with him. “It’s always the same story. I felt deeply towards someone in the past, I just know it. I’m afraid of forgetting them, but I know nothing of who they were.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape’s hand stilled. “Have you asked Lupin about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned. The hand resumed its motion. “He said I had no family, but I’m sure I had a friend or a lover. They must have been really important to me. What kind of person I was, if they didn’t even visit me at the hospital, Severus? Because I keep thinking about it and it doesn’t make sense. They must have lost all hope I was ever going to be better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry about it now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If something like that happened to you, I’d visit,” Harry stated stubbornly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to sleep, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the morning Harry woke up with a tent in his boxers. Well. He glanced at Severus, the man was sleeping. Could he? He sneaked a hand down the front of sleeping Severus and stroked his cock. It felt different in his hand, than his own. Bigger, for one. He hasn't had much experience with self-pleasuring, but he tried his best. He remembered what motions Severus used, on his knees, in the shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” moaned the man in half sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was delighted his name was the first thing out of Snape’s mouth, when he was aroused. He buried himself under the blanket and didn’t notice when the man woke up. Only when a hand brushed his hair and Severus leaned in to kiss him, he knew the man was awake. With his hand on the front of Harry’s boxers, he hummed his pleasure and instructed Harry to be firmer with his touch. They had a pleasant leisurely wanking session, Harry half on top of the man, kissing his ear and moaning into it rather loudly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had breakfast with leftovers from the dinner. Then they had a quick argument about driving Harry back to the hospital, with Harry determined to stay. Severus caved after Harry kissed him. The man wanted to go shopping for groceries and Harry tagged along. It was rather domestic. Harry had to pause at the isle with all the candy bars, choosing from so many was impossible! At the checkout Severus waved his arm at the clerk and his scanner. It beeped happily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got chipped?” Harry exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s more convenient than using a plastic card.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if you have two bank accounts?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have more than two. This,” he pointed at the wrist, “is for everyday spending.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should get chipped too! At least when I’ll know where the netcoins Lupin gave me came from.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They rolled the trolley to the parking spot, when Harry noticed a familiar figure beside one of the cars. He left Severus’ side and went to investigate. The person turned around, revealing casually dressed Remus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remus!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Harry! What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here with my friend, the one I’ve made in hospital. Severus!” Harry called, happy to introduce the two men to each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus?” echoed his guardian, his eyes going wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man himself approached them with a weary expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus, this is Remus Lupin, my guardian. Remus, this is Severus Snape, my friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked from one man to another, expectantly. Neither moved. Remus was glaring daggers at Snape, and Snape had an unusually haughty expression. Well, this wasn’t going the way Harry hoped. Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose, as Snape crossed his arms in front of himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see,” mumbled his guardian, clearly pale. “A friend, is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt his face heat. “Well…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus beside him sneered, showing his uneven teeth. “I’m sure your guardian doesn’t mean to pry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I suppose not,” Remus shook his head clearly disappointed. Harry's stomach clenched. Was the man disappointed in him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we shall not intrude on your schedule any further,” Severus tugged on Harry’s jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, goodbye, Harry. You’ve got my number, you know you can call me anytime, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite the strange encounter, Severus and Harry spent a lovely day cooking and reading, and watching telly. Harry tried to steal as many kisses as possible from the man. The man looked a particular mix of surprised and pleased every time Harry reached out to kiss him. Severus’ phone rang twice on the first day. He exited the room and spoke quietly, trying not to disturb Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their evenings were ideal, full of kissing and sex. The man went to his knees in front of him once more and Harry tried to answer in kind. It was delightfully awkward at first and he enjoyed the look of eagerness and weariness on Severus’ face, every time Harry’s tongue circled the head, or his teeth scraped the sensitive skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the second day Severus caught Harry near the locked room and his entire demeanor shifted into unease. Harry couldn’t help it, really. There was just something off about the room. He didn’t know what was behind that door, but whatever it was, he sensed Severus didn’t want him to see it. There was another thing also. Severus’s phone rang six times on the second day. The man answered his calls and one of them took thirty minutes to sort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it something urgent?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not known for taking breaks off my work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you don’t need to leave do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry put his arms around the man, basking in his warmth. Severus held him a little too tightly, but Harry didn’t mind. It must have been such a drastic shift, going from being alone, to being involved… in whatever it was they were. Harry hasn’t been this happy, since he started being lucid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the third day Severus tentatively pressed his fingers against Harry’s perineum.. Harry moaned and spread his legs wider. Severus stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t seem surprised by any of this,” he said puzzled. “Have you done this before?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve watched a film with blokes buggering each other, back at the Center,” Harry said, raising his head from the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I take things further…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With plenty of lubricant, Severus managed to put his two fingers inside of Harry. He nudged a spot, that made Harry howl with pleasure. There was another thing Harry was quickly learning. Severus seemed to magically know all of the spots that could melt Harry’s bones and electrify him with pleasure. The sensitive spot on his neck, his nipples, the area beneath his navel, the insides of his elbows, beneath his knees, the hollows of his thighs, he caressed all of them with his tongue, turning Harry boneless on the mattress, with raging erection, vibrating with anticipation and pleasure, guessing where Severus would touch him next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was rocking his world. Truly. Harry was astonished that such extreme pleasure was allowed to exist, better than fresh fruit, and the color of the sky on the cloudless day, softer than deer’s fur and more vibrant than the other joys in this world he discovered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man rubbed the fingers inside him, sucking his cock and rolling his balls with the other hand. Harry was wet between his thighs from the lubricant. It was so good he forgot his name for a moment and it did not spark fear, did not make him panic, instead he convulsed, coming in thick hot sprouts, with Severus’ fingers inside him, careless and concerned about nothing. Severus lied right next to him and Harry wrapped himself around the man immediately, like a vine around her chosen tree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not allowed to do that with anyone else, but me, from now on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus chuckled. “Staking a claim, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Although… I’m not… I don’t know,” Snape raised an eyebrow in question. “Well, I don’t think I’m a good lover.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elaborate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have much experience. I don’t know how you love to be touched and what you prefer in bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I prefer a willing partner of my own choosing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry winked at him. “Have I been chosen by you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape rolled his eyes. “Yes, you have.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, that’s brilliant. Best news ever.” Harry slurred, already falling asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was searching the house for Severus, checking room after room. The kitchen was empty, but there was soup cooking on the stove. The living room was empty, with an entertainment system playing a tune. The man must be still asleep. He opened the bedroom and found a lump on the bed, covered by the blankets. He jumped on the bed, trying to pull them off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of Severus two lifeless gray eyes were staring at him. The glassy stare was digging right into his soul, the face of the girl spotty and purple. Harry screamed. He turned to the other side, but encountered a second body, stiff and unresponsive. A pair of hazy brown eyes was frozen, looking forward, unseeingly. Harry felt like panic squeezed his chest so tight he couldn’t breathe. The bodies of Luna and Seamus were staring at him from two sides, their faces green and purple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry awoke in cold sweat. The sun was shining outside, the day quiet and sunny. The other end of the bed was unoccupied. Harry tried to calm his breathing. It was only a dream, he told himself, over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> a dream, was it? Avery was going to return to the hospital, but Harry completely forgot about him, thinking of only Severus and no one else. Luna and Seamus depended on him. Maybe Avery wouldn’t kill them, but he would make them into complete zombies if he had his way, all to ruin Kedmonium’s trial.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to prevent the disaster from happening. Had to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry found Severus in the kitchen cooking breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go back to the hospital,” Harry delivered without a preamble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus raised his face from the stove, his dark eyes dulling, his shoulders curling on himself. “I see,” mouthed the man without any intonation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not what you think, I just have to go back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you do not wish to continue our acquaintance, there’s no need for subterfuge,” said the man in the same colorless voice. Harry expected anger, annoyance, fury, anything was better than the lack of expression Snape wore right now. Harry’s chest ached, his stomach still nauseous from the dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus, please!” he begged, stepping closer to the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you wish to have breakfast?” the man avoided him masterfully, presenting his back to Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logically, Harry knew Avery would be no threat to anyone, until the nightfall at least, but he couldn’t spend one morning cocooned in his happiness, while his Luna and Seamus were in the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said reluctantly, pulling away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus wouldn’t look at him after that, his posture tense and face set in stone. He gave Harry curt answers, when Harry tried to nudge him into conversation. Harry understood. He really did. They’ve been so happy, these past few days, the man put his work behind just to be here, and Harry was the one to destroy all that bliss with no explanation. He couldn’t tell Severus the truth, he just couldn’t. What if the man tried to stop him? What if he told Remus about his plans and then he’d transfer him to another hospital and then Avery would win.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped out of the car and turned to say goodbye, but Severus pushed gas and drove away before he could utter a word. Harry’s chest ached with physical pain when he remembered how Severus reacted to him wanting to return to hospital. He took the elevator to the fourth floor and was relieved to see Hermione sitting at the nurse’s station.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Avery,” he said, without a proper greeting. “Is he back?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Harry. He returned to work just today. And he insisted on taking tonight’s night shift. Luna’s in danger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seamus is too,” Harry reminded her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seamus’ relatives took him home. He’s not going to be at the hospital until Friday. Harry, I’ve accidentally caught McGonagall and Flitwick talking. Seamus and Luna have been improving dramatically for the last two months.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled grimly. “I’m not surprised.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are we gonna do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When are they going to get the floor monitored by the chip scanning system?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In march,” she wrung her hands. “But we can’t wait that long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have an idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slipped out of his room after the curfew and reached Luna’s room quickly. But now instead of hiding in a closet, he opened her room and stepped inside. Luna was, thankfully, asleep on her bed. He hid in the bathroom, leaving the door open. Hopefully Avery wouldn’t find anything suspicious. He took his screen with him to finally have some solid evidence against the man. With that he set out to wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was three o’clock when the door opened with a soft click. Harry was on his feet in a moment, his screen ready and his camera rolling. He hid in the shadows of the bathroom, leaving the door open, and zoomed in the camera on Luna’s bed. Avery wasn’t afraid to turn on all of the lights.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much for caution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuffled around Luna’s bed, checking her pulse, confirming she’s asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing my pretty?” he asked in a quiet smug voice. “I’m here to continue your treatment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doctor patted the woman on her hair and Harry suppressed his revulsion. He almost gasped when he saw the man pull out the syringe – a white cylinder, and a tiny glass bottle. The man attached the bottle to the cylinder, then quickly wiped the girl’s arm with an alcohol pad and gave her an injection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever he was giving Luna was what was making her sick, Harry sensed. He shouldn’t have been letting Avery do this to Luna again. Harry was torn between his desire to stop the man for good and the desire to protect Luna. He almost jumped out of his hiding, but it was too late because Avery was already finished.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What did he give the girl?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry distinctly remembered the man putting the little bottle in his pocket. Harry needed that bottle. But he couldn’t get it without Avery knowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights were dim again and Harry had finally obtained the evidence he needed. He only needed one more recording, the recording showing Avery doing the same to Seamus. And that glass bottle, the substance the man injected into Luna’s veins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused the recording.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Half of the job was done.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ron had been replaying the film of Avery and Luna for the fifth time. “I can’t believe you caught him Harry, I just can’t believe it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to know what he injected her with,” Harry reminded him anxiously. “We also need a second video, showing him doing that with Seamus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His nightshift is not until Friday, when Seamus is going to be back,” Hermione was looking shell shocked after seeing the film.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be ready then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And it will be my shift,” finished his bushy friend, with a determined face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite watching the footage over and over, Harry’s thoughts were far away. He still remembered how Severus’ eyes dulled, when he wanted to return to hospital. He thought of calling, but had to stop himself. He planned on taking the footage to both McGonagall and Flitwick, they were the only people who, he thought, could stop Avery. But they were only fellow doctors. He wished he knew someone, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> who was involved with the Kedmonium trial, so he could tell them about the conspiracy he and his friends uncovered. But the only other authority figures in his life were the doctors at the Center and here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would Severus understand Harry had to do this to help his friends? Or would he think he was only looking for trouble? Or worse, looking for attention?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On Friday night, Harry slipped from his rooms long after curfew, confident Avery wouldn’t show up in Seamus’ room, until midnight. Seamus wasn’t sleeping when Harry came in through the door, however, he was holding a thick magazine in his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was taken aback. “Hi, Seamus,” he said his mouth dry. “Do you remember me? I’m Harry, we’ve been in the Rehabilitation Center together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man frowned. “I think… I think I remember you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great, would you mind if I hide in your bathroom? It’s really important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, Harry,” the man beamed. “Look at this,” he waved the magazine in his hands. “The last twenty spacecraft to the world’s largest space station.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had to look through the magazine with Seamus, checking the clock on his screen every minute, afraid Avery was going to show up early. Seamus fell asleep in half an hour, the magazine abandoned in his lap. Harry put the thing away and shut the lights off, before he hid in the bathroom. He sat in the bathroom, counting every minute and his every other thought was about Severus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d seen the man when he was most vulnerable, when he lay under the Electromagnetic Induction Chamber, a “glass sarcophagus”, as Severus called it, and he never wanted that haunted look to cross his face again. Except, now, he was one of the reasons the man felt rejected. He was lucky the man didn’t know he tried to get behind the locked door in his house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was behind that locked door? Why did it bother him so much? When this was over, he’d call Severus and explain everything to him and never try to get behind that door, no matter how tempted he might be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At three in the morning the door clicked. Harry was at his feet at once. He had the camera in his screen rolling and it captured everything, the doctor checking if Seamus was fully asleep, him injecting his patient with unknown substance, him putting a little used bottle into the pocket of his coat. Harry smiled triumphantly, they’ve got him, they’ll put him behind bars and Luna and Seamus will be safe, the drug will go through trials and millions of people will get their memory back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unwittingly, he moved and the door to the bathroom creaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Avery froze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the breath left Harry’s lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry slowly backed off into the corner. The footage he had was the most precious thing at the moment. He put the screen in the bathroom, hoping to hide it. Avery jumped into the bathroom in two strides, turning the lights on. His eyes fixed on Harry hiding in the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was here with Seamus when the nurse locked me in the room. I didn’t know how to get out and fell asleep,” Harry thought he sounded convincing, but Avery’s face broke into an unpleasant smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I saw you, Potter, running away from me, when I caught you in the caretaker’s closet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I’m afraid I don’t follow,” Harry continued playing dumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been sniffing into my business for quite a while now, isn’t that right? Don’t think I forgave you for my arm and my leg. Three sessions under the EIC and they’re as good as new,” Avery twirled his arm and leg, giving a small bow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry lunged at the man, pushing him away, trying to escape. He’ll get the screen later, he’ll have to ask Hermione, that was all. But Avery caught him by his elbow and they both fell down to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll say it was an accident,” grunted the doctor, pinning Harry by his weight, he was considerably taller and heavier than him. “I’ll make sure it looks like one, of course, a troubled patient jumping from the roof.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry kicked the man in the sheen and Avery howled with pain. Harry used that moment to tumble them, rolling them so he would be on top, but a sudden pain in his jaw blinded him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Avery punched him!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His glasses were lost in the commotion. Harry tried to get away from heavy fists, but another blow landed on his nose and he felt warm blood pouring over his mouth. He elbowed the man in the ribs with all his might and was rewarded by another squeal of pain. Then Avery’s wrists closed on his throat and squeezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost immediately Harry went out of breath. What was Avery doing? Was he mad? The marks from strangulation would be obvious to anyone, he couldn’t try to pass his murder as an accident! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the man’s eyes had a sadistic glint to them and Harry was clawing desperately at his arms, trying to get some air. He begged Seamus to wake up and stop this. But his prayers went unanswered. His lungs were on fire and he felt the room blur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought of Severus, believing forever Harry chose to end their relationship, the man he loved, loved, dying alone and never knowing how Harry felt about him. There was a sudden bang and Harry’s face was showered with ceramic pieces. The pressure on his windpipe ceased and he inhaled, though his throat was burning, the air tasting sweeter than anything he ever experienced before. He choked, wheezing, his eyes teary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry! Harry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hermione?” he croaked.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry looked around trying to find his glasses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on? Is it morning already?” a voice sounded from the bed. The noise must have finally woken up Seamus. Avery’s body was slumped on the floor, the remnants of a vase scattered around him. Harry giggled hysterically. Hermione must have smashed the vase over the bastard’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you looking for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My glasses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand with glasses appeared. “Here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world came in sharp focus once more. Harry’s heart was pounding, his adrenaline still high in his blood. He had a brief image of himself, lying there breathless, dead and unmoving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I did this. He’s a doctor!” Hermione said in a panicked voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was trying to kill me, Hermione,” said Harry hoarsely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi, did you kill a doctor?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to sleep Seamus,” Harry and Hermione groaned in unison.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tried to get himself under control. Focus, he told himself. Gradually he felt the high emotion settle. He breathed. His attention shifted on the unconscious body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry searched Avery’s pockets and found the precious bottle he used to inject Seamus. He looked closely, although his eyes were still watering. There was a bit of liquid left at the bottom. They could test it and find out what it was!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the bathroom, my screen, Hermione…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione came back with his screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got all the footage there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you look awful!” she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could still feel the blood dripping from his nose. “We just need to show this McGonagall and Flitwick and then they’ll put the bastard behind bars and…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Harry is that your plan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to go to someone who oversees the Kedmonium trials directly. I’m afraid McGonagall can only help you file assault charges against Dr. Avery. I don’t know how to contact anyone from the company that produced the drug, but I know someone who might,” she put her hand on his shoulder. “Your friend, Mr. Snape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, the Half-Blood Prince Company donated colossal sums to the research for Riddle’s disease. I know the independent lab producing the drug is financed through Mr. Snape’s business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll call him then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry woke his screen and made the call. Long beeps sounded. Severus didn’t pick up. “He’s still mad at me,” Harry sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe so, or maybe it’s the middle of the night, Harry. We need to drive to his home, until Avery wakes up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at the man. He lay there, motionless, his mouth open. Harry never liked Avery, but today he crossed the line. He almost choked him. “What are we going to do with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to restrain him and put him somewhere, until the morning,” Hermione tugged on the unconscious body. “He’s heavy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The caretaker’s closet!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They dragged Avery’s body to the caretaker’s closet. “There’s no rope,” Hermione was searching the shelves frantically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you give him a sedative, so he’s asleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She jumped. “That’s a great idea, Harry!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they were finished, she made him go back to his room to get dressed. It was winter after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, I’ll drive you to Mr. Snape… Harry, you really do look awful.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hermione, I don’t think Severus is at the house we have visited together. He mentioned he lived in a different place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, I’ll look up his address in the patients database.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione insisted Harry wear his hood, while they exited the hospital. She also wanted to clean him up, but he was rushing to get this over with. The drive from the hospital to Severus’ house was surprisingly short. They stopped outside the gated property. There was a sensory panel on one of the pillars of the gate. Harry punched the biggest button and waited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not going to be happy we woke him up in the middle of night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is rather urgent, Hermione.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They saw someone approaching the gates. The figure was huge. The man stepped from the gates, accompanied by the drone. The drone was shining bright light in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me tell yer, this is the wrong time to come to Mr. Snape’s house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry and Hermione got out of the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, I’m Harry. This is Hermione,” greeted Harry politely, if hoarsely. His throat felt like sandpaper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet yer, I’m Hagrid, Mr. Snape’s guard is who I am. Whatcher doin’ here in the middle of the night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to see Severus, it’s urgent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so lad, Mr. Snape is asleep and yer better come in the morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, tell him it’s Harry. Harry Potter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The name caught Hagrid’s attention immediately. He waved at the drone and it beamed the light right in Harry’s face. Hagrid’s eyes went round. “Yer looking bloody awful, lad! I’ll call Mr. Snape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The giant stepped a few paces back and talked to a radio. He nodded once and twice, then he was accompanying Harry and Hermione to the house. The house was a big black presence in the dark, the light shining on the front porch. The front door opened and they were treated to sight of Snape in a robe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it’s me and Hermione,” Harry said, not sounding like himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with your voice? Come inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hallway was brightly lit with beige panels of light on the walls and the ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms. Granger. I hope you have a good reason for your visit,” Snape said snarkily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry braced himself and took his hood off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ eyes went black with rage. He was at Harry’s side at once, his palm to Harry’s chin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who? Who did this?” he hissed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should see the other guy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione answered Snape. “It was Dr. Avery, an orthopedic surgeon in our hospital. He’s been trying to sabotage the drug trials. Harry caught him red-handed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More like he caught me spying on him giving Seamus this.” Harry gives the bottle to Snape. “Here, I have the footage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was suddenly aware of the need to bury himself in Severus’ arms. The shock of what happened was starting to dull and the realization that someone tried to kill him started to settle in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus understood it immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ms. Granger, you may settle in the living room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione nodded and sneaked out of the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry put his arms around Snape and closed his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man cradled him gently in his arms and Harry breathed in the familiar comforting scent. They stood like this for a while, Snape’s body strangely tense. Harry buried his face in Snape’s chest, and the man’s nose grazed his hair softly. Feeling content, even after the events of the night, Harry let himself enjoy this small moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re tense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m… not quite calm, after seeing your state.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright. Let’s take a look at the film.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus watched the footage Harry filmed in the living room. The room was positively enormous, with windows twice the human height, containing two lounge areas with two long large couches, a formal dining table and a piano. Harry had been telling the older man about spying on Avery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was your secret, I presume?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was. That’s why I had to return to hospital,” Harry said meaningfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus looked him in the eyes and held his gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… Should we call the police?” Hermione asked. She’d been unusually quiet, letting Harry explain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One moment,” Severus left the room to make a few calls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry caught his reflection in one of the mirrors. He had purpling bruise on his jaw, a split lip and there was caked blood on his face. Huge bruises began forming on his neck, it was also swollen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus, where’s the bathroom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Near the stairs on the other end of the living room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rinsed his face in the bathroom. He snooped around the bathroom, but didn’t find anything interesting. The bathroom looked like it was hardly used, the surfaces clean and shining. Harry cleaned the caked blood from his face, and rinsed his nose, it didn’t appear to be broken. He sighed in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve called the necessary people, the man in question is going to be put in custody,” Severus whispered, quiet fury in his voice. “I’ll promise the man who did this will be punished.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… thank you. Hermione said your company invested in Riddle’s research,” Harry spoke slowly, trying not to put too much strain on his voice, “Do you know someone who could help us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus nodded. “My friend, he lives around the corner, he’ll be here any minute.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ friend was a tall elderly man in garish nightgown, yellow bottoms with pink stars, purple top with red and orange fruits, and a pink robe on top, with black checkered pattern. Harry was momentarily dazzled, when the man greeted them. He had a thick white beard that reached his chest and half-moon glasses perched on his nose. His blue eyes twinkled, he didn’t look like the man woken forcefully in the middle of the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, Ms. Granger, this is Albus Dumbledore, the discoverer of the Kedmonium.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione gasped. “Nice to meet you sir,” she said, clearly awed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together with Hermione they told Dumbledore everything about Avery breaking the chip machine, about Harry’s stake out, about Anguis Pharma paying Avery four million for his lectures – on this part Dumbledore’s kind expression shifted into a thunderous frown. They told him about Seamus’ and Luna’s symptoms – on this part Severus gave the bottle with mysterious liquid to Albus. The man read the label and his eyes saddened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very curious invention of Anguis Pharma, a neurodegenerative capable of producing light symptoms of dementia in poor souls, who are injected with it. Of course, given in large doses it could produce irreparable harm and make a healthy human a living shell, incapable of doing basic things like eating, walking and thinking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s stomach sank. Was there hope for his friends or was he too late? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friends were better when Avery was on leave for two month, is there any hope for them to recover? Seamus even said he remembered me from the Center,” Harry’s hands started fidgeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The dose in this bottle is diluted, it says so here, only zero point three milligram of the substance. My prognosis will be on the optimistic side, my dear boy, as I suspect reducing your friends to mere shells was never the objective of Anguis’ agent. No, that would arouse too much suspicion, he was likely tasked with muddying the results of the trial.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that’s wonderful!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I day say so Ms. Granger. Effective immediately the results of this trial are invalid, as the subjects have been tampered with. We will need a new group of volunteers, Severus, although it will set us back for no less than three years, maybe more. Will you still be financing the trials?” Albus nodded subtly in Harry's direction. Harry turned his gaze from one man to the other in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t leave my businesses unfinished, Albus, the Half-Blood Prince will give your laboratory all the funds necessary.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Severus. I’ll call to make necessary arrangements for the subjects of the Kedmonium trial to be released from the observation in their hospitals and return home. As far as my last reports show, all, except two are showing remarkable progress adapting to their new life, displaying no symptoms of Riddle’s disease returning,” Albus smiled at Harry. “Now, of course, is not the right time to make these calls. I suppose you’d want to drive to the police station to press charges?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Albus, thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the man left, Severus went away to change his clothes. Harry yawned widely, exhausted from the night’s events, he distracted himself by looking around the gigantic room. It contained no pictures, just like Severus’ old house. No parents, no friends, nothing to make the space more personal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Granger,” addressed Severus, returning. “You’re a witness, you’ll come with us. We’ll need to photograph your injuries. Harry, I’m afraid the video footage of the injections is not enough - anything can be faked in this day and age, they will need to go through expertise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I went through so much trouble getting them!” Harry cried scandalized. “You can clearly see Avery’s face on them!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Faces can be digitally altered, Harry. Your footage is not completely useless, however. It will be used by Albus to rule the results of the drug trial as illegal. After, however, it will go through expertise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they came back from the police station, Harry was soundly asleep in a car. He dreamt of fighting Avery over and over again, the pressure on his windpipe unbearable. Sometimes he would win and pin his attacker to the floor, raining punches on him, but most times he was the one feeling like a punching bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He awoke to the sound of his screen ringing. He was laying on a king sized bed, in a big room, painted in light colors. He swiped the screen and saw that it was Remus calling. Not wanting the man to see him in this state, he declined the video call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, Harry, I’ve been told the drug trial has ended and you’re no longer have to live in hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Remus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you caught a cold? Your voice sounds odd.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… something like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, Harry, I’ve been contacted by the Care Facility you lived in the last twenty years, they’ve been notified you won’t be coming back and they’ve packed your things, do you want me to get them for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, I’ll get them myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll send you the coordinates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry wandered aimlessly about the bedroom and found a picture of himself and Snape, on the cabinet, on the other side of the bed. It was a picture they took at the park, it was framed and he sensed it was the only picture in the entire house. Severus must have kept it there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He set about exploring the house, but Severus and Hermione were nowhere to be found. He expected locked doors, but there were none. He found Severus’ cabinet on the first floor, but it was empty. There was a bowl full of fruit on the table in the living room along with a familiar ring of keys. He took it with him just in case. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He went outside. Even in winter the garden was beautiful, with several pine trees neatly framing the space. Hagrid was currently shoveling the snow from the walkway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Belatedly, he realized he had no money for a taxi to take him to coordinates Remus sent. Maybe he could ask Hagrid? He greeted the man large warmly and was rewarded with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hagrid, can you lend me some netcoins?” Harry's voice had somewhat recovered from the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure lad, whatever for? Mr. Snape has delivery paid for anything ye’d want, yer only need to use his name and this address,” Hagrid put the shovel down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go somewhere, I’ll have to take a cab.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man nodded. “I’ll drive yer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, really?” cried Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hagrid’s car was massive, well, it must have been to fit a giant like Hagrid. Harry chose the front seat. Hagrid set the destination in the navigator and sat back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not driving manually?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, I prefer the machine to do its job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got to the destination in seven minutes. Harry counted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry frowned. “That’s odd, I didn’t know it was so close, I could have walked there,” he smiled sheepishly. “Sorry Hagrid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No trouble ‘Arry, I’ll wait for yer here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry looked at the building closely. It didn’t spark any memories. He stated his name and business to the lady at the front desk and she stared at him in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My God, what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry winced. He should have at least put a scarf around his neck or something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little altercation. I’m here for my things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes. Come with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry followed the woman, trying to search his memory for anything familiar, but it was a futile task. It was unnerving how much the place seemed new to him. Each door held a gold name plate attached to it. There were a lot of patients there, dressed in their pajamas, walking around aimlessly, with empty eyes and flat expressions. Harry shuddered. Was he this way before?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe you’re completely healthy now, except your eyesight, you should get that fixed and open your beautiful green eyes to the world, don’t you think?” chatted the woman at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Soon we’ll have no clients if the medication they’ve given you reaches the masses! But it’s all good, we’ll probably start caring for elderly,” she stopped abruptly. “Here’s your room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door to his room was open. Unlike other doors it had no golden name plate. His room was the same size as the one he had in the hospital, except it had a large screen. Someone was cleaning the bathroom and there were two large boxes on the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll leave you to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no recollection of this room. He opened the first box. It contained clothes, socks, underwear and a red robe. He noticed all the socks had colorful prints on them, planets, stars, spaceships, popsicles and fruits. Strange, they all seemed rather new.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s that husband of yours?” asked the lady, who had been cleaning the bathroom. She had a sponge, a large scrub brush and a plastic bottle of cleaner in her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled politely. “You’ve got me confused with someone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He opened a second box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t. Poor fellow had been visiting you for as long as I’ve worked there, once a week he would come, every week, like a clock. Brought you oranges and kiwis to eat, claiming they were your favorite. Always sat with you for three hours, talking and getting no answers. Every week, for more than fifteen years. Learned my name too and would tip me to look after you. I wouldn’t forget him for the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry insides froze. He was speechless. The woman’s words passed for him in a haze. There was a golden metal plate, lying in the second box, that said “Harry. J. Potter-Snape” on it. He felt like he was losing his mind for a second, the cognitive dissonance so strong, he felt the whole world turning on its head. He rubbed his eyes. He stepped away from the box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he returned, some of his composure returning, the golden metal plate was still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still. There. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mocking him, the cool letters unchanging, clear as water. Was he mad? Did he see something that wasn’t there? Or did his life finally start to make sense?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loaded two boxes in the car and told Hagrid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to drive me somewhere else.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He entered the old house with the keys he found on the table in the living room. In moments, he was up the staircase and yanking at the mysterious locked door angrily. Potent rage filled him to the brim. He cursed, kicked the door and when that didn’t work he tried to get it to open by throwing himself at the harsh wood, over and over again, although the bruises he’d had from the fight with Avery stung with each push.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When this proved useless he searched the house, in a frenzy, for a tool to get the door to open. Maniacally he yanked open every drawer, not bothering to close them, his entire being throbbed with purpose, until finally, finally he found a metal scrap. Using the scrap to break the door open didn’t go without some considerable effort on his part, but he was so angry he kept pushing even when his muscles burned from exertion. Finally, the door creaked and the lock groaned, and he gave the door a hard kick and it burst open. He stared at the open path, his anger draining, a sense of unease seeping through every pore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He made one step inside, then two, then he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>in</span>
  </em>
  <span> the mysterious locked room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was an ordinary small room, with lots of shelves and tiny couch, and a telly. Harry went around the room, his eyes widening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pictures on the shelves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was on them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Twenty years younger, yes, but the same glasses and the same lightning bolt scar distinguished him from anyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In one, he was wearing a uniform and hanging the wallpaper he’d seen in the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In other, he was smiling, fewer lines on his face, his teeth white. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was standing in the park in the third picture, half embraced by Severus, who was smiling too. Severus in the pictures had black hair down to his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He browsed the pictures, seeing English countryside on them, a park, their house. There were not only pictures of himself with Snape, but pictures of sunset out of the kitchen window, a bee on a flower, or a snowy backyard. Somehow he sensed he was the one to take them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He closed his hand around his mouth, trying to rein an anguished moan and his hand came away wet. His face was wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Were those tears?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked them away, angrily. On an impulse he turned the TV on. It was paused in the middle of the recording. He pressed play. A picture of Harry twenty years younger became animated on the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I said to him, if he wants to hire me for my services, he'd better at least try to be decent!” the Harry in the film said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If my income in the lab weren’t so meager…” Severus came into view. The stark contrast in the frame was not from twenty years erased from his face, but from the way his eyes shone. They were alive and kind, glittering in the light of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know, but I want to have my own money.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you don’t keep late hours,” Severus wiggled his finger in front of Harry warningly. Harry bent and kissed the finger, too alike to the way the present Harry did just days before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This Severus only rolled his eyes in an answer. Harry felt like he was going to be sick, but the film kept playing. A picture flicked, and it was the familiar navy blue silk robe with peacocks on them, the camera showed Harry’s body in the mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The weather is killing me, it’s killing me. It’s nearly forty degrees outside and I’m dying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drink more water,” called Severus’ voice from another room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been drinking tea all day, the entire day and I’ve been dreaming about a tub filled with ice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus came into the room and put his hand on Harry’s forehead. “Is it really that awful?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grimaced. “It’s just that… if my partner didn’t run off with the money for the last three months, we could be lounging on the beach somewhere. It’s just as you’ve said, I’m too trusting and you’ve told me he doesn’t inspire your confidence, and you’ve said his recommendations were bogus letters, but I didn’t listen!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should be able to provide you with vacation,” Severus said ruefully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t start, Severus, please…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry watched the screen with rapt attention, afraid to miss a detail. There were many recordings, he sensed. He had barely grazed the surface. They overwhelmed him quickly. He hit pause.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of it mattered now. Severus lied to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pretended to be a complete stranger. They met in hospital by accident, but was it an accident? It had to be by how surprised Severus acted. The man didn’t want anything to do with him after he got cured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But why?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because Harry wasn’t the Harry he wanted, the Harry he knew, he’d lost all his memories irrevocably, making him a stranger and the man didn’t want a stranger. He didn’t want the only Harry that was left after twenty years. He abandoned him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The front door banged. A minute later Severus rushed into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you this room was off limits!” he yelled, his face ashen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been to the Care Facility, Remus sent me,” Harry replied. His voice sounded eerily calm to his own ears. He didn’t bother getting up from the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, Lupin had something to do with this!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you want to blame the only person who cared about me after the Kedmonium treatment...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus put his hand around his eyes. He appeared to compose himself. “Harry, I can explain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the passivity washed away from him. “Explain how you’ve left me without even acknowledging my existence?!” Harry yelled, jumping to his feet. “Explain how you didn’t want me after I was finally well?! Explain all the lying, you duplicitous bastard? Explain this!” Harry pointed at the screen. “All of this time I said I wanted to know my past, wanted to have a connection to who I was before and you pretended like you’ve never met me, pretended you weren’t my… my…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you would just only </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span> to understand...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, tell me then, tell me why you left me behind,” Harry crossed his arms in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus put his hand on the back of the sofa. “I wanted you to have the best future you could possibly have,” he said quietly. “To start anew with someone your age, perhaps younger, to finally start a real family, while it wasn’t too late for me step aside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt like he was vibrating like a string about to break. He shook his head mournfully. “I don’t believe you,” he said in a raised voice. “You’ve wanted him,” he pointed at the screen again. “And I’m not, I’m just not,” he felt his eyes sting, but he willed the burning away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head again. “What even is this place? A shrine you’ve built to the life you’ve had?” he asked, his voice accusing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus paled, his eyes flashing in anger. His hand on the sofa closed in a fist. “If you can’t respect the way a man deals with losing his husband, Potter, then you’re not the Harry I’ve known.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry's mouth twisted cruelly. “Well, you’ve said it. I’m not him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry ran past Severus, out of that damned room and into the world. Severus made no attempt to stop him. He was finally free, wasn’t he? He didn’t have to go back to the hospital, didn’t need to worry about ever forgetting again. He knew the truth of what he had forgotten.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Harry bought a juice cartoon in the store. Remus convinced him to keep the credit card he gave him, but now that he knew money on it came from Severus, he’d had a sick feeling in his stomach every time he used it. He told himself repeatedly it was not guilt, but then why did an image of Severus’ pale face when he called that room a shrine, came up in his mind, every time he used it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He only bought Fancy Juice with it. Now that he’d had nothing to occupy his time, his obsession with the comet came to the forefront of his mind again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been living with Remus these past three month, sleeping on the couch in the living room. A new season of Mysteries with Hans entertained him for a first week or so, but after that he’s been mindlessly scrolling the internet and doing nothing all day. He didn’t know what to do, he’d had no interest in life beyond going to see the comet. Remus’ wife – Tonks, was infinitely kind to him, she made sure he ate all the meals with the family and felt welcome, although he knew he couldn’t overstay his welcome much longer. Every day his thoughts ruminated around the footage he’d seen of Severus’ life with his husband, someone who Harry decided, was definitely not him, even if they looked alike. He’d think about their trip to the graves of Harry’s parents, where Severus asked him if it would matter if someone visited Harry, while he was sick and incapable of recognizing a familiar face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course it mattered! It mattered still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact was, it was one of the most important revelations that day, three month ago, brought him – Severus visited him every week for twenty years. Someone cared. Harry wasn’t left alone, he did not have to pity his past self, the way he did before, he did not have to feel betrayed and alone on behalf of the sick Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was preventing him from running into Severus’ arms again? Was it all the lying?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Partially, yes. But the other part…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inexplicably he was intensely jealous of the Harry he was before, who was definitely not who he was right now, because that Harry had Severus’ real devotion and love. What did the present Harry mean to the man? A poor copy? Should he come back, wouldn’t Severus see the replacement as a poor imitation of the original, wouldn’t he eventually grow to resent the present Harry for never matching close to the original, wouldn’t he see through the impostor Harry really was?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Harry knew Severus, didn’t he? He was drawn to him, like a moth to the flame, from the very start. He’d never felt that way toward anyone before. And that feeling only grew the more he learned about the man. It was as if something in him knew the man, even if he could not remember him, something beyond mere memory left its mark on him, deeper than a conscious thought, touching his instincts, affecting his heart. It was as if something from that old Harry still remained in the present Harry, almost like they were one in the same, even though Harry told himself they weren’t. Even though Harry could not name a single thing he loved back then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he kissed Severus’ finger on an impulse, exactly the same way he felt he used to do before he got sick. He wore his old blue robe with peacocks on them in front of Severus. God, no wonder the man looked at him oddly. How many such small moments existed? How many times he reminded the man of his old self? Or maybe the opposite was true?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter what the conclusion, what mattered was the fact that Severus didn’t want him if he had no memory of their life together. He might have changed his mind once he got to know the man Harry was now, but Harry still felt abandoned. He held a grudge against the man he loved and he couldn’t help it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it made him miserable, because he wanted nothing more than to go back and tell Severus he didn’t mean to be angry, didn’t mean to call that blasted room in the house a shrine, didn’t mean to hurt him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw Severus only once in the last three months. At Avery’s trial he sat there with Ginny Weasley at his side. With some worry Harry saw that Ginny held the man by the arm, they came and went together. Harry couldn’t sleep the night after the trial, his stomach in knots, thinking of the possibility Severus finally moved on from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had met Ron and Hermione quite a few times. From them he knew Seamus and Luna were still in the hospital, getting treatment to repair the damage neurodegenerative inflicted. He’s been playing football with Ron and as he was horribly out of shape, he experienced an ache in all his joints and muscles right after. But his body was much stronger now, than it was before, his arms filled out with muscle from the pushups they did before kicking the ball, his thighs and calves no longer resembled toothpicks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hermione and Ron were growing closer and closer to each other, often seeking the company of the other in the hospital, as well as out of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was glad for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He amused himself sometimes by constructing elaborate heists to commit crime and then deconstructing them, like a detective would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But always his thoughts came back to Severus, to the one who left him and found him again, to the one who lied to him, and the one he missed more than anything. The one who could be lying in the arms of Ron’s sister at the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although now he knew what caused his nightmares and knew ‘Severus’ was the name he forgot in his dreams, and Severus was the man he loved, but kept forgetting – the nightmares hadn’t stopped. The trauma of those early years of Riddle’s disease was too great it seemed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It left a scar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A scar that couldn’t be healed even after twenty years. But even though Harry was feeling angry and confused, he would never opt to forget what caused him distress, he’d never choose to forget Severus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus pulled him from his thoughts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus called to know how you have been doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s heart jumped in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus eyed him wearily. “You don’t think of going back to him, do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took his glasses off to clean them, to stall for an answer. He wanted to go back. He just wasn’t sure he’d be welcome now. He really couldn’t imagine himself waking from another nightmare and knowing he willingly chose not to be with the only person he loved. Romantically, that is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if that’s exactly what I was thinking about?” he asked finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry, you can’t possibly contemplate the option. I know these past few months were hard for you and right now you feel directionless and lonely, but the world is full of possibilities. By the law, half of the netcoins on Severus’ accounts belong to you. You shouldn’t worry about the future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry really didn’t care about the money. “Has he divorced me yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not yet. But it could be arranged swiftly, you’ll only need to let him know you don’t want his company.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so unlike Remus to be this pushy. Harry felt himself puzzling over the man’s words, suspicious in spite himself. “And what if I don’t want to divorce him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But think of the possibilities! You could have the best life, it’s not too late yet. You’ll find someone to fall in love with, someone who shares what’s important to you, you can start a family and have children with them, continue the Potter line, I know that’s what James and Lily would have wanted. Think about it Harry, Severus is a lonely old man, who’s had managers and directors for the company for so many years, he could hardly give you the joy of marriage you truly deserve. You’ll find someone, perhaps even younger…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus’ words sounded familiar. Too familiar. He scanned the man’s face, the realization dawning. Harry jumped to his feet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You convinced Severus he should leave me alone!” he accused, betrayal thick in his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus’ face paled. “I don’t follow…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s heart began beating in his ears. “Knowing him, it must have taken you quite some effort to persuade him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always had your best interests at heart, I swore to your godfather…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who would that be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sirius. Sirius Black. I haven’t told you about him, he was always against your marriage to someone twice your age.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And where is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He… he died in prison, he hadn’t had an opportunity to get to know you better, but I told him about you, how you were spitting image of your father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Focused, he got right to the point. “What did you tell Severus then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lupin cringed, fidgeting on his chair. “Harry, you have to understand, I’m the only one left who could stand up to someone as powerful as Severus, I didn't do it lightly and it wasn’t easy…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you tell him?” Harry repeated, reminding himself not to cause a scene.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That you wouldn’t remember him. That it’s rather dubious you would develop feelings for him, if he introduced himself as your husband. That you were a white canvas waiting to discover the world anew and he should step aside, unburden you from the promises you had no recollection of,” Remus shook his head. Disapprovingly, he said, “He didn’t listen, at first, but I was insistent. He saw reason, eventually. He promised he would stay away, he agreed that it was for the best, but then he broke his promise and I knew nothing of it, couldn’t even prevent you from getting ensnared…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ensnared?” Harry couldn’t believe this. All this time, thinking Severus didn’t want him like this, that he chose to abandon him and it was Remus who talked him into it? Remus was his friend, but at that moment Harry felt a crushing disappointment in him. “You couldn’t be more wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Remus' eyes were looking at him sadly, all the fight gone. “You’re going back to him, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” if it wasn’t too late. “Just tell me one thing. Am I… different?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Different?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From the Harry I was before. I’m not interested in reconstruction, for example. Do you see me as separate from the Harry you knew?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lupin eyebrows drew a puzzled frown. “No, you’re the Harry I knew. We weren’t that close before…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the only one who could really tell a difference would be Severus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Harry got to the house in two hours. Remus’ place was really far away from Snape's house, and from hospital and Harry had a new appreciation for Remus for visiting him regularly. The spring was in full bloom, the trees green and the people on the streets smiling and it gave Harry hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“’Arry, glad to see yer lad,” Hagrid greeted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hagrid glanced at the house quickly. “Well, I dunno if it’s proper to tell yer this, but Mr. Snape hasn’t been well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hagrid gave him the keys to the house as easy, as if Harry lived there. He found Severus in one of the study rooms with a big desk, sitting at the small couch, an open bottle on the table in front of him. He had his face hidden in his hands, his gray hair hanging limply by his sides, his shoulders hunched, his feet bare. Harry was overcome with longing at once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus jerked his head, but didn’t move otherwise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus,” Harry called louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man raised his head and looked around wildly. Harry’s chest constricted with pain and the dull look in the man’s bloodshot eyes, at his ashen face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You!” cried the man hoarsely. “I thought I was imagining your voice,” he mumbled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t,” Harry worried the hem of his tee. “I… I spoke to Remus…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man sneered and took a large sip from his glass. “What did he reveal to you about me now? That I avoid my taxes? That I am rude to my inferiors? That I’m obsessed with you? It wasn’t enough for him to stand aside, not to interfere, he had to send you to the Care Facility,” Severus’ wasn’t looking at him as he spoke. It broke Harry’s heart. “Make no mistake he did it on purpose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad he did it, I know the truth now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus shoulders curled in on himself. He poured himself a glass and drank it eagerly. Then he stood up, so suddenly, Harry startled, and advanced on him on shake legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then. Let’s revise the facts, shall we? Has Lupin convinced you how utterly foolish it was of me to hope year after year the cure to Riddle’s disease would be found? How a man, as pathetic as I am, couldn’t find himself company and move on from the loss of his partner? How obsessed I’ve become with finding a cure and pouring all my resources for empty promises from Albus Dumbledore for ten years? And they were that – empty, for a long time. How I saved and treasured things to keep the memory of you alive, like a man possessed? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Every</span>
  </em>
  <span> recording, </span>
  <em>
    <span>every</span>
  </em>
  <span> picture? I’m sure you two had fun laughing at the room in my house, a shrine, as you called it…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man backed him into a corner, the smell of alcohol on his breath, making Harry flinch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Severus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why aren’t you laughing now, Potter or have I not amused you enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man put his hands on walls around Harry’s head, his eyes raging with anger. He was pressing Harry tighter into a corner, their bodies touching. In spite himself Harry felt something soften in him at the contact – he was overflowing with remorse for pain he put Severus through. He left the man for three months, three whole months to think Harry thought of him so poorly, to think that Harry finally moved on without him, left him – for good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come here,” Harry whispered, pressing back against the body that was crowding him and kissed the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus kissed like a man drowning, his tongue licking into Harry’s eager mouth, his hands gently – despite his overflowing emotion, cradling Harry’s face in them. He moaned, hungry and Harry felt the taste of alcohol on his lips. Severus tried to sink on his knees before him, but Harry stopped him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your hip!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you here to mock me?” scowled the older man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for what I said! For… for calling Harry’s room a shrine. I was wounded, jealous…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ hands dropped and his shoulders hunched. “The way you looked at me, as if I trampled something sacred, as if I disgraced myself in your eyes! I can’t forget it…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I felt betrayed! Don’t you understand what it was like to find out you lied to me, that all of this time you played me for a fool, while knowing everything about me? You knew how I needed a family, someone close to me, how I craved the past connections and you’ve denied them to me. Denied everything I wanted. It seemed cruel, twisted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus opened his mouth to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know Remus filled your head with stupid ideas, I know he convinced you I should be free of you, but I don’t want to be free of you. Don’t you understand, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> everything I ever dreamed of, you’ve waited for me, while I was sick, you’ve visited me when I was alone, haven’t I made it clear how much that means to me, Severus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man made a disregarding motion. “I don’t want your gratitude!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not. Listen, will you? From the first moment I met you, it’s as if something in me recognized you. I don’t remember what we’ve had before, that’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s all gone to the wind, that nothing at all remained, something in me has always been drawn to you,” Harry’s voice broke. He looked at those angry black eyes and knew he’d never love anyone like this, not like this, as if his very life depended on it. “You knew I had nightmares about forgetting you, didn’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It could have been general anxiety…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. It’s you I am searching for in my dreams, I know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ face became withdrawn. “The last months when you started to forget my name, my entire presence in your life, were the hardest, before I had no choice, but to put you in Care Facility. At first you had lucid moments, when you’d ask the hospital where I was, you’d call me then, you were scared – we were both scared out of our wits. Soon enough the calls stopped altogether.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry drew the man into another kiss. It was softer this time, but the heat of it still made Harry ache with want. He’d gotten better at avoiding Severus’ big nose, but nothing could prepare him how devastatingly good it felt to have his arms full of the older man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry I left you for so long,” he said soothingly, nuzzling Snape’s long throat. “I’m sorry I don’t remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it mean you’ll stay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry nodded. “I’m still angry at you for lying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Snape wasn’t listening to him. He took Harry’s face in his palms and was kissing the underside of his jaw, his cheeks, again pressing him into a corner. His hands were wondering about Harry’s body, getting reacquainted with Harry’s sides and stomach, his hips and his bum.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry,” he kept whispering between kisses and groping. “Harry, Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt like his flesh was melting and his veins were catching fire. The kisses were bittersweet, he still felt a little jealous of the memory Severus was devoted to. Still, they stumbled their way into the bedroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop, stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before anything takes place, I want you to make love to me, not the Harry you knew. I know you don’t think of us as separate entities, but I do. I want you to be sure you like the present me enough to kiss me, independent of your memories from twenty years ago. I am serious, Severus. I want you to want me, as I am now, do you understand?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus' gaze turned thoughtful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you do that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Severus’ turn to nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bed was soft and when Harry had undressed completely, tossing his glasses off, Snape turned to look at him in the dim light of the room. He traced the line of his now toned stomach, his arms, shoulders more developed after the practice with Ron. Harry turned his attention to looking the man over as well, Snape was bonier than he remembered, he must have lost some weight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man started to map Harry’s body with kisses, all the places where Harry was sensitive to the touch got proper attention. Soon, he was gasping for air, writhing on silk sheets, little moans escaping his throat. It was lovely, because he denied himself this for so long, because he wanted this from the first moment he heard the man’s voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was nothing about the man Harry couldn’t grow to love, he wanted to possess the whole of him, from that mean mouth, to the brilliant brain, from his loneliness, to his devotion to the man he married. He wanted to open himself completely to Snape, to take him into his body and erase the barriers between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, Snape’s hands trailed between his cheeks. Severus massaged his pucker with an oil he retrieved from the nightstand. His fingers dipped inside. He went easy, and soon they were grazing the spot that made white hot pleasure spark inside Harry. Harry whimpered helplessly, but Severus didn't stop until Harry's forehead was covered with sweat and he was trembling with want.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus settled himself in the V of his legs, his hand stroking Harry’s cock. He pushed inside carefully and then his hips were making shallow little thrusts, easing him in. It was a little more stretch than Harry was prepared for, but he welcomed it, whimpering quietly and kissing whatever part of Snape he could reach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They established a rhythm and Harry felt his lover drive deeper and deeper inside him, he searched the man’s eyes and they flashed with dark hunger. Harry prayed the house had soundproof walls, as he couldn’t help, but moan loudly with each thrust. Severus bent and captured his lips in a bruising hot kiss, he moaned Harry's name into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape put Harry's legs even higher, bending him in two. Harry's ankles ended up on Snape's shoulders and the man grazed his stubble on his right ankle and then placed an open mouthed kiss to that spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was melting into the sheets. “Close,” he warned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus' hand found his cock and his thumb circled the head, spreading the precome gathered there. He gave a quick lick to his fingers and moaned, a needy sound, half-unhinged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swore, feeling himself twitch helplessly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me,” he asked, in a broken voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape’s mouth descended on his own, his longue lapping inside. It wasn't a gentle kiss this time, it was demanding, wet and possessive. Harry could feel they were both close with Severus slamming inside him with increasing frequency. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came with a hoarse cry, muscles spasming. There was dampness between their stomachs now and Harry groaned at the slippery texture. Severus followed him shortly, his hands making bruises on Harry's hips. He collapsed on top of Harry, spent, and trembling from the force of his orgasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was… hot,” he managed, praying Hagrid didn’t hear them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape groaned. “I’m too old for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, stop it. It was brilliant!” Harry grinned, curling himself around Snape’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Snape made noncommittal noise. Their limbs rearranged themselves, until they were completely comfortable and Snape kissed the unruly mop of his hair. He was first to drift to sleep, leaving Harry pondering about the strange twists of fate and everything that brought them to this moment. The room smelled of sweat and sex, but Snape's bed smelled like him and Harry borrowed his nose into the covers and breathed the comforting scent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry's thoughts were beginning to slow. Was he a different person, just because he didn’t remember anything from before? Would Severus be disappointed in him if he was? Probably no use to worrying about anything of the sort. They would just have to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry jerked awake in the middle of the next day. They had definitely overslept it seemed. He jumped from the bed and started to put his underwear on. He put his clothes on, frantically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the date?” he gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imagine it’s sixteenth, already, why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Harry groaned and flew out of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus found him in the living room, trying to figure out how to turn the TV on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Television, on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The picture on screen appeared. “What channel do you need?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The one we’ve watched with you before, the science one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s face came in view on the screen. He was advertising G8 and smiling at the camera. God, did he always look this fake? Harry cringed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They could play this thing for years, you know,” Severus said, clearly enjoying his embarrassment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t remind me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When it ended the lottery draw came on screen. Harry beamed. “I’ve been waiting forever for this. Today’s the day they pick the winner to see the comet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>First the netcoin prizes were drawn, then the screens, the phones, the cars. Harry was vibrating with excitement. When it came to the last and final prize they drew one number after another, until they had a full number of the Fancy Juice packet that had won. Harry had registered so many G8 packets on his name, he couldn’t know if it was his or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the name of the person who won the lottery came on screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Harry’s name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry stared numbly at the screen. He didn’t understand. He registered so many G8 packets, his chances were higher than most, he made sure to register each packet’s number under his name. He registered hundreds of numbers, sitting there cross eyed on his hospital bed. He even kept buying them when he was living with Remus!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well?” came Severus’ voice. He was holding two plates with omelet. He put them on the coffee table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it is to be expected. This lottery was global after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus put his hand on the nape of Harry’s neck. “You’ve never lost a lottery before,” he observed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I tried to do everything to increase my chances, I haven’t missed a single G8 packet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe you drank enough of that juice to turn your blood into an orange delight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I lost. I’m not going to see the comet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you choose not to, then no.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It isn’t my choice, I’ve lost! I wanted more than anything to go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus smirked. “More than anything?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That brought Harry short. It was true he dreamed about going to see the comet since he heard about the lottery. But it was only after he learned he had no one close to him, but Remus. Before that what he wanted more than anything was to have a place, and more importantly people, who he could go back to, a family that still wanted him. Severus gave him that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He considered this. Of course, winning the lottery would be nice, but was it really worth it, getting miserable over it? Probably not, Harry thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat on the sofa and asked Severus to turn the TV off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not,” he shrugged, smiling. “Hm… There’s still something I don’t understand though, why you came back to see me, after you’ve met me in the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus rubbed his knees absentmindedly. “I was used to seeing you once a week for twenty years,” he started. “Not seeing you for two years has been challenging, to say the least. When I saw you at the hospital, it had been a shock. More so, seeing you lucid and talking, it broke my resolve not to interfere with your life. I had to see you again, to see the intelligence behind your eyes, to know how you’ve been doing, if you were truly cured.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry covered Severus’ hand with his own. “You’ve disappeared for one month.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus took his hand and inspected it on his lap, tracing the lines. “My conscience didn’t let me immerse myself in your life any more, than I already was. They were one of the hardest four weeks in my life, I’ve took to… imbuing myself with whiskey in my resolve to never see you again, to leave you alone,” Severus grimaced. “When I saw you on my screen, trying to sell me that juice, I thought I finally reached the edge. I thought I was hallucinating. I had to see you then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve looked awful, I remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never been good at staying away from you,” the man concluded. “Eat your eggs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They started to eat their breakfast. It was delicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I truly thought I was special enough to win,” Harry said conversationally. “You can call me an idiot, if you’d like. I really, really wanted to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus smirked again. “Wait here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man came back with e-paper he gave Harry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Read it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He read the paper. It was a contract, where the party signing accepted the numerous risks and challenges in going to some trip. Harry browsed the paper to the end, arriving at the Worldwide Cosmic Agency’s logo. Harry’s eyes widened. The trip included two people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It can’t be,” he breathed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tugged at his hair in frustration. “But the tickets cost a fortune!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ve put a little dent in my savings, but nothing too drastic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really saying…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can go to see your bloody comet, Potter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry jumped to his feet. “SEVERUS!” he yelled, climbing on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Potter,” Snape said warningly. “Get down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we’re going!” he jumped up and down the couch, throwing his hands in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re nearly fifty! Stop this display immediately!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry pushed his body forward and fell onto Severus, pinning the man under him on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear you’re a wizard! And we’re going to space! When did you get the tickets?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus rolled his eyes at him, but couldn’t resist a quick peck on his jaw. “In the beginning of October, you hot headed Neanderthal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So soon after we’ve met?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus looked at him hesitantly. “In the past I’ve not had the means to give you what you’ve wanted, what you deserved. Now I could.” Severus opened his mouth to speak, but paused, as if unsure if he wanted to say something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Out with it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve always dreamed of seeing the earth from space, of going there yourself. You’ve made me sit through enough movies about it, I wasn’t entirely surprised you’ve gotten obsessed with going to see the comet. Except this time I had the means to actually fulfill your wishes,” the older man swallowed. “The entire time we’ve been married we’ve never travelled farther than the countryside. I’ve been to all the corners of the world setting up water processing plants, but I did it alone, without you by my side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ eyes got a faraway look in them. “You’ve always had this intense curiosity about the world, you were meant for so much better than renovating houses in posh neighborhoods.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I love my job?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You tolerated it, but there was no passion for what you did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt Severus sigh underneath him. “I never knew why you chose me as your companion. I was twice your age, working long hours in the lab, shunning all human contact. I’m sure I was unpleasant to deal with before age and loneliness mellowed out my character. I could never give you what you truly needed, someone to take you places you’ve never seen, give you new experiences, provide you with…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop. Severus, stop,” Harry shut Snape’s mouth with his palm. “Loving you would be more than enough for me.” Harry had a weird déjà vu, seeing the same conversation play out, nearly Identical to the film in the old house. “You made me fall in love with you in just a couple of months. And now we have at least a decade together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry felt Severus’ lips spread in a mysterious smirk underneath his fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t I tell you that Albus’ also heads a research institute that has been trying to prolong human life?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long are we talking here?” eyed him Harry skeptically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus pushed his hand away and kissed him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing the comet has been the most humbling experience in Harry’s short second life. Seeing the earth from space, a dirty blue, so beautiful and fragile, filled him awe. He floated there, in front of large glass window, and couldn’t take his eyes from the sheer magnitude of it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing the comet has been just as magnificent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They trailed its path for three hours, during which all of the crew, besides the pilots, stared in the large window overlooking the comet’s tail. The emerald green halo around the comet faded into seafoam color, with sapphire trail, that spread into two navy blue soft arches behind it. There were countless stars beyond the comet, making the view even more stunning. They were far enough not to be caught in the debris and far enough for the tail to fit in the observing window. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry didn’t know what neurons and pathways in his brain failed him, but the twenty years he spent in the Care Facility seemed so small and insignificant to the vast and black void of space, filled with so many wonders yet to be explored. And yet he was sure to Severus these twenty years were a void, that no grandiose beauty, like the one they were observing, could fill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The experience of finally having two of his biggest dreams fulfilled changed him, facing the vastness of the universe, he realized some part of him was incomplete without the memories he’d lost. He stopped denying the past and tried to learn more and more from Severus about his past self, but Severus was reluctant to share that information. Harry understood it was because the man knew how insecure he felt about his past self. But more and more Harry understood that all he was in the past, was a unique result of his upbringing, molding his character, and he sensed it influenced him in subtle ways even now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to connect to the past, no longer running from it, but wanting to embrace it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By a curious quirk of fate, Luna, now fully recovered from the harm Avery had done to her body, had a bike accident where she sustained a heavy blow to the head. They’ve placed her into EIC, a “glass sarcophagus”, focusing the waves on her head. After three sessions she found not only the injury disappearing, but memories resurfacing – memories from the life before the Riddle’s disease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus was highly skeptical, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nobody quite knew why the EIC worked that way on Luna or if it was the culprit at all. Harry booked himself six sessions, one every week, in hopes of returning his memories. He did not anticipate the flood of memories of living in the cupboard under the stairs, always half hungry and worried to get punished. He did not anticipate the memories of his aunt and uncle, and his cousin Dudley materializing in his mind’s eye – the everyday exhausting chores, the bullying, the second hand clothes, the snide remarks about his parents. It made him moody and made him withdraw from Severus, but he still went and lay under EIC, determined to get his old self back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of the days Severus looked at him worryingly through the dinner and tried to strike a conversation, while Harry gave him monosyllabic answers. It continued for weeks, until the memories of Severus started coming. The day they’ve met in his uncle’s hardware store and Harry shivered from the sound of Severus’s voice. The way, from the first time he met the man, he felt a pull towards him he couldn’t explain. A pull that made him blush and stammer, while Severus got annoyed with him. The day he hired Harry to renovate his house and the way he looked at him sweaty and shirtless, while he put a wallpaper on the walls, that one hot summer. How they shared their meals and talked, tentatively at first, and then Harry was telling Severus of his life with Dursleys and the man listened, frowning occasionally. How Severus would fuss over him when he got a simple cold, making Harry feel cherished and loved for the first time. It all came back to him slowly, gradually, like the onslaught of dawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry put his bag down, he’d just come back from a football match with Ron and his friends. Hermione and Ron had begun dating. They made sure Harry never felt like a third wheel in their company, which he appreciated. Harry kept busy by attending writing classes, he thought he could perhaps channel his obsession with solving crime into detective novels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crept into Severus’ cabinet, his heart flushing with love as he saw the man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is my Prince doing?” Harry asked, hugging Severus from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve finally connected the dots and figured the Half-Blood Prince company was named after me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry paused. “Not exactly,” Harry kissed the nape of Severus’s neck. “It’s what I used to call you, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“…Harry?” called Snape, but it was different from the way he called him before. There was pain in his voice mixed in with hope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus turned and searched his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember everything. Not yet. But I remember how we’ve met. I remember how I’ve felt towards you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man tensed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not much different from how I feel now, but I was lonelier then, you were the center of my universe when I was young. No close friends, like Ron and Hermione. Just you. I think if it would be you falling sick, I would’ve fallen apart and destroyed myself completely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus kept staring at him in wonder. He placed two gentle kisses on Harry’s temples.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To think I’ve been devoid of all human contact for twenty years,” Harry said wistfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Likewise, however I did hold your hand while I visited you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled. “Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you didn’t mind it at all, you even smiled sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry traced Snape’s nose with his index finger and Severus let him. Little joys of married life. He shook his head. “Not the hand part, the no human contact part. Did you really shun all human contact while I was sick? I mean I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I mean I wouldn’t consider it cheating, if you had someone…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, sorry for prying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus’ eyes were dark, but Harry recognized the amusement glinting there. “There was no one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he traced the man’s lips now, so unforgiving yet soft. “I’m sorry I left you for so long.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hardly your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still. I can’t believe I have you back with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry kissed the man tenderly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Severus smiled through a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the lovely comments, I read each one and I am very grateful this story found its readers.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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